bangalore? more like a chaotic coffee stain on a map i made in a pool of existential dread
okay so i just woke up and realized i forgot to check the weather before heading out to that stupid street food stall everyone raves about. turns out it’s 18°C and like a damp hug from the sun. i checked the app and it said ’feels like 18.04’ which is basically a math problem for my brain. i’m not mad though, i’m just here to blend in with the chaos. the neighbors? i haven’t met them. i’ve only heard whispers. like that one guy who plays sitar at 3am or the girl who sells tamarind candy by the bus stop. i heard someone said she’s got a secret stash of vintage band t-shirts but i don’t know if that’s true. probably a rumor.
recently someone at the coffee shop told me the hostel nearby is a trap. not like a haunted one, just like a place where your stuff’s stolen by a raccoon with a vendetta. i don’t know. i haven’t checked. i’m too busy trying to find a place that sells coffee that doesn’t taste like regret. i asked a local and they just stared at me while sipping something that looked like black sand. i later found out it was called ‘chickpea water’ but hey, whatever.
the weather’s been stuck in that annoyingly pleasant zone where you feel like you should be productive but your brain’s just… there. i tried to journal but it just came out as a stream of random thoughts about why the metro always smells like someone’s gym socks and why the street vendor’s samosa has more layers than my ex’s personality. i also saw a poster for a yoga class that promised ‘inner peace’ but i’m pretty sure the instructor was just a ghost hunter with a clipboard. or was that just my brain?
if you’re bored of this city, [bangalore] is just a short drive away. i mean, there’s a whole highway that goes to the beach but i haven’t taken it. probably because i’m scared of the ocean. or maybe i just don’t want to admit i’m lazy. either way, the neighbors are all over the place. some are just lying around reading philosophy books, others are filming dance videos in their gardens. i heard a rumor that one of them is a pro dancer but i don’t trust anything in this city.
someone told me the best way to survive here is to pretend you’re a local. i tried that. i accidentally ordered a ‘masala dosa’ that was basically a brick wrapped in paper. the guy who sold it just smiled and said ‘next time, pal.’ i’m not sure if that’s a compliment or a warning. i also heard that the city council is planning to replace all the streetlights with neon signs that spell ‘NICE’ in 10 different languages. i don’t know if that’s true. probably not.
if you’re thinking of checking out this place, don’t. or do. i don’t know. but if you do, [tripadvisor link] has reviews that are 80% opinions and 20% people ranting about the bus system. [yelp link] says the same. and [local forum link] claims the city is a hidden gem but i think they’re just selling T-shirts.
here’s a map. it’s not pretty. [iframe src="https://maps.google.com/maps?q=12.7409,77.8253&z=12&output=embed" width="100%" height="300"]
i took some photos. they’re probably blurry. [img src="https://api.unsplash.com/search/photos?query=bangalore&w=1080&q=80" alt=""bangalore street food"" width="100%"]
[img src="https://api.unsplash.com/search/photos?query=bangalore&w=1080&q=80" alt=""old city buildings"" width="100%"]
[img src="https://api.unsplash.com/search/photos?query=bangalore&w=1080&q=80" alt=""café at sunrise"" width="100%"]
i’m not a fan of this place. i’m also not a big fan of nothing. i just wanted to write something that sounds like me. which is probably messy. chaotic. and slightly regretful. if you like that kind of thing, feel free to leave a comment. but don’t expect answers. i might have already forgotten what i wrote.
p.s. the humidity is 75%. i’m sweating. but at least the air is free. kinda. sort of.