Basel: The City That Stole My WiFi And My Sanity

basel is that place where you end up when you're chasing wifi and cheap beer. i just stumbled here after a week of nomadic chaos and let me tell you-it’s 8.3 degrees and feels like 7.01. which is either perfect or a metaphor for my life choices. not sure which.

so here i am, crammed into a hostel bed that smells like old raincoats and regret. the weather? it’s there right now, damp enough to make my notebook stick to the page. i checked the forecast and honestly, if this is a sales pitch for existential dread, i’m buying. the humidity’s 88% and it’s clinging to everything like it has a vendetta. my clothes? soaked. my soul? probably too.

neighbors here are either pretending they don’t exist or loudly arguing in german. i heard a group outside shouting about something involving ‘a fish that’s too big for the market’ and i have no idea what that means but it’s oddly oddly appropriate. if you get bored, cities are just a short drive away-geneva’s lakes are there, but don’t tell anyone i said that. somehow, it feels like a secret.

reviews? don’t trust them. or do. i overheard someone at a café say the hostel showers here are haunted. another claimed the tram from the old town to the new is ‘a smooth ride until it isn’t.’ drunk advice? yes. reliable? definitely not. someone warned me about a bar called ‘the blue dragon’ where the bartender whispers fortunes. i went. he said i’d find a cat in a hat. i left. no hat. no cat. just regret.

so what do i do here? work. frantically. i’m a digital nomad, which means i turned my laptop into a sandcastle in this humidity. it’s not working. but the coffee shop next door? solid. their espresso machine is a religious experience. i paid way over market rate but it was worth it. maybe. link their page on tripadvisor. it’s called ‘café of the lost poets’ and it’s exactly what it sounds like-overpriced espresso and existential whispers.

other tips? bring layers. seriously. even if it’s 8.3, the breeze makes it feel like 5. and if you’re into public art, there’s this spot near the river where painters hang out. i saw a guy sketching a pigeon that looked suspiciously like my ex. i didn’t ask. link to a local yelp for street art tours-they’re chaotic and weird, just like basel.

pictures? here’s one of me trying to look adventurous while frozen in a café chair. another of the river at dusk, which is just a bunch of lights reflecting on water. and here’s a blurred shot of the old town, which is honestly just a maze of cobblestones and very judgmental architecture.

basel is messy. it’s loud. it’s whatever. but if you like weirdness and can’t handle 88% humidity, this is your spot. just don’t forget to pack an umbrella. or a towel. or a sense of humor.

stay safe. and maybe avoid the blue dragon. you never know.

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• https://topiclo.com/post/newelleville-street-art-crawl-messy-notes-from-a-wandering-soul
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• https://topiclo.com/post/the-accidental-coffee-crawl-in-jeddah-that-almost-broke-me
• https://topiclo.com/post/the-global-trade-nightmare-nobody-talks-about