Berlin Bleeds: A Caffeine-Fueled Descent
okay, so, like, i’m pretty sure i’m running on fumes and lukewarm espresso right now. berlin. it’s… a lot. i just checked and it's...there right now, hope you like that kind of thing. 997 pressure, 89 humidity - feels like stepping into a damp wool blanket. seriously, my sinuses are staging a full-blown revolt.
I landed yesterday, and honestly, the first thing that hit me wasn’t the rain (which, let’s be real, is always raining here), it was the sheer volume of people. and the music. and the graffiti. and the smell of… well, everything. it’s a sensory overload in the best and worst ways. i’m pretty sure i saw a guy wearing a full suit of armor while riding a scooter. don’t ask.
My hotel? let’s just say it’s charmingly dilapidated. think ‘grandma’s attic’ meets ‘slightly haunted boarding house.’ the wifi is… enthusiastic. it cuts out every five minutes, which is basically my life these days. i’m documenting everything on my phone, obviously. because, you know, proof.
Spent the morning wandering around Kreuzberg, which is basically a giant, chaotic art project. there are murals everywhere. like, seriously, you can’t walk five feet without stumbling upon some incredible street art. i even tried to sketch one - failed miserably. my hand just… doesn’t cooperate when i’m this tired.
I overheard some drunk advice at a bar last night - someone told me that the best way to experience Berlin is to get lost. which, honestly, is pretty solid. i followed a guy with a saxophone down a random alley and ended up in a tiny courtyard with a group of people playing pétanque. it was… surreal.
Here’s the lowdown on essentials, because, let’s be real, i’m not exactly a packing pro:
Shoes: Seriously, break in your boots before you go. You’ll thank me. (And also, you’ll be walking a lot.)
*Layers: Berlin’s weather is fickle. One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s pouring. Pack accordingly.
*Reusable Water Bottle: Tap water is surprisingly good here. Save the planet, save your wallet.
*Earplugs: Seriously. The city never sleeps.
*Cash: Some smaller places don’t take cards. Don’t be caught short.
I also found this amazing little vintage shop near Friedrichstraße - ‘Secondhand Stories.’ They had the coolest collection of 70s dresses. I almost bought a whole wardrobe. Almost.
Speaking of Friedrichstraße, I heard that the Christmas markets are insane in December. Like, insane*. I’m not sure I’m ready for that level of festive chaos, but it’s definitely on my list for next time.
I’m heading to Neukölln tomorrow - apparently, it’s the new cool kid on the block. Lots of independent cafes and quirky bars. If you get bored, [Berlin] are just a short drive away. I’m hoping to find some decent coffee. My caffeine levels are critically low.
Oh, and one last thing: don’t trust everything you hear. I heard that the East Side Gallery is a tourist trap, but honestly, it’s still pretty cool. Just go with a healthy dose of skepticism.
Check out some more local spots here: https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attractions-g298572-Berlin.html and https://www.yelp.com/map/berlin-germany for restaurant recommendations. And if you're looking for something a little off the beaten path, https://www.berlin.de/en/ has some great events listed.
Okay, I’m officially signing off. My brain is starting to feel like scrambled eggs. Wish me luck. And maybe send coffee.
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