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bogalusa at 3am: why i stayed up for a bench and a dubstep remix

@Marcus Thorne2/14/2026blog

i wasn’t sure what to expect when i rolled into bogalusa. the kind of place that feels like it’s been waiting for a tourist crash for years. or maybe that’s just me. i just checked and it’s a solid 19.54, which is honestly perfect forotranslate or whatever that means. you know, the kind of temperature where you’re not sweating but also not pretending you’re not sweating. weather’s a thing here, i guess.


so i parked on this random street and started walking. the first thing i noticed was a bench. not a fancy bench. just a bench. but it was there. and i sat. and then i started listening to a dubstep remix that someone had left on a broken speaker. the music was loud. the bench was cold. and suddenly i was this person who had made a life choice. a life choice involving dubstep and benches.

someone told me that if you sit on the bench for more than 10 minutes, the ghosts of former travelers start dancing. i didn’t believe it, but i sat. and then i saw a guy in a neon jacket doing the macarena. maybe a ghost. maybe a tourist. who knows?


i took three photos. all of the bench. all of the dubstep. and one where i looked like i was trying to decide between a sandwich or a Grimace shake. unsplash gave me images back, which is great because i don’t own a camera. i just love the idea of it. here they are:


the neighbors here are a mix of people who seem like they’ve given up on life and people who are way too into their garden gnomes. i asked one guy about his gnomes and he said, ‘they’re my kids.’ i didn’t ask for clarification. i just walked away. some people here are into yoga. others are into selling fake amethysts. it’s a vibe.

i heard that the local coffee shop has a secret menu. like, a whole menu that’s not on the board. someone told me they have a drink called the ‘dubstep latte’ which is just coffee with a side of existential dread. i might try that. if i find the shop. i haven’t yet. the directions app keeps sending me to aoooops, no such street.

someone else told me that if you get bored, the coast is just a short drive away. i don’t believe that. i think they’re lying. or maybe it’s a trick. either way, i’m not going. i’m sticking to the bench. the dubstep. and the thought that i might be hallucinating.

i looked up reviews online. one said, ‘the beach here is a scam. they’ll take your money and give you a pile of seashells.’ another said, ‘the food is so bad, it’s like a horror movie.’ i’m not sure which is true. maybe both. maybe neither. i haven’t eaten here. i’ve mostly been eating thoughts.

i’m a digital nomad, so i should be more adaptable. but sometimes i just want to sit. and also, i need more coffee. not the kind that’s in a cup. the kind that’s in my brain. or maybe that’s just the weather. i don’t know. 19.54 is a tricky number to unpack.

a local warned me about the street artist nearby. they said he Paints With His Feet. i didn’t believe them until i saw a mural of a flamingo wearing sunglasses. it’s art. or it’s a scam. who knows?


in the end, i wrote this post while sitting on that bench. the dubstep had stopped. the bench was getting colder. and i realized i’d spent 12 hours there. maybe more. time is weird. Bogalusa is weird. but hey, at least the weather wasn’t trying to kill me. unless that 19.54 is a code. i’m not sure.

if you’re here, maybe check out tripadvisor. or yelp. or just ask a local. don’t trust the reviews. they’re probably sleep-deprived ghosts.

links:
- https://www.tripadvisor.com/location/Bogalusa
- https://yelp.com/business/Bogalusa-Spots
- https://coolsatchel.com/local-tips

tags: travel Bogalusa human vibe messy

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About the author: Marcus Thorne

Sharing knowledge so you don't have to learn the hard way.

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