Brno Blues & Sticky Fingers: A Slightly Damp Dispatch
okay, so, 787657… and 1688661068. seriously, what is that? it’s like a random string of numbers that just… landed. i’m sitting in a tiny cafe in *Brno, Czech Republic, and honestly, it’s a vibe. a weird, slightly melancholic vibe. the air is thick - i’m talking 93% humidity, feels like 6.97 outside, and the pressure’s at 1016. it’s like being wrapped in a damp towel. i just checked and it's...there right now, hope you like that kind of thing.
I landed here on a whim, mostly because my flight was cheaper than a decent pizza in Berlin. and let me tell you, the pizza here is… an experience. I’m pretty sure it’s made with yeast that’s been fermenting since the Austro-Hungarian Empire. I stumbled across this place, ‘U Zlatého Jelena’ (The Golden Stag), purely by accident. It’s tucked away on a side street, all dark wood and the smell of roasting pork. The guy behind the counter, Jan, looked like he’d seen it all, and probably had.
I’m trying to document this, you know? Like, really document it. My phone’s battery is dying, my brain is fried, and I’m pretty sure I’ve ingested more caffeine than is strictly advisable. I’m a touring session drummer, so my life is basically a constant cycle of lugging gear, playing loud music, and trying to find a decent cup of coffee. This place has… okay, it’s not amazing coffee, but it’s strong. Like, aggressively strong. It’s the kind of coffee that makes you question your life choices.
I overheard some locals talking about a hidden speakeasy downtown - something about a secret password and a surprisingly good selection of absinthe. Someone told me that the owner, a former opera singer named Madame Evgenia, only serves drinks to people who can recite a passage from Dostoevsky. I’m not fluent in Russian, so that’s probably a no-go for me.
Speaking of locals, there’s this family who lives above the bakery - the Kovářs. They’re… intense. Mr. Kovář spends his days meticulously arranging pebbles in the window, and Mrs. Kovář yells at pigeons. If you get bored, Prague is just a short drive away. They don’t speak much English, but they’ve given me a few cryptic warnings about the city’s underbelly. Apparently, there’s a thriving black market for antique buttons. Who knew?
I’m trying to capture the feeling of this place, the way the light hits the cobblestones, the sound of the trams rattling down the streets, the smell of chimney smoke mixing with the scent of trdelník (that cinnamon pastry thing - seriously, I’m obsessed). It’s… complicated. It’s not postcard-perfect. It’s gritty, it’s a little sad, but it’s also strangely beautiful. I’m thinking of starting a series called ‘Forgotten Corners.’
Here’s a quick gear list, because apparently, that’s what everyone wants:
My battered drum kit (obviously)
A ridiculously oversized backpack
A portable espresso maker (essential)
A notebook filled with illegible scribbles
A healthy dose of cynicism
I found this amazing vintage shop near the main square - ‘Retro Revival’. They had the coolest collection of 70s dresses and vinyl records. I almost bought a sequined jumpsuit, but I decided against it. Mostly because I’m pretty sure I’d trip over it.
I heard that the best place to get a proper Czech beer is at ‘U Fleků’. It’s a tourist trap, sure, but it’s also… an experience. I’m going to check it out tomorrow. Maybe I’ll even attempt to recite a passage from Dostoevsky. Don’t hold your breath.
Seriously, the humidity is brutal. I’m starting to feel like a damp sponge. I need to find a dry place to sit.
Check out this local board for events: https://www.brnodaily.cz/ And for more info on Brno: https://www.tripadvisor.com/Tourism-g291576-Brno_Moravian_Silesian_Region-Vacations.html And if you're looking for a good meal, Yelp has some decent options: https://www.yelp.com/search?find_desc=restaurants&sort_by=relevance
Okay, I’m going to go refill my coffee. Wish me luck.