Cancun’s chaotic magic where numbers mean nothing and murals scream louder

woke up this morning thinking 3516109 was some kind of secret code for a hidden bar but turned out it was just a google maps id for a spot no one knew until i wandered by. then saw 1484817336 as a timestamp and immediately assumed it was 2017 and started judging my life choices through that lens. turns out it was 1484817336 seconds into some random day and i was probably crying after a buffet battle of questionable discomfort.

anyway cancun here. 11.69 degrees celsius right now, which is like holding an ice cube in your mouth while wearing a flan costume. feels like an abstract painting someone tried to monetize. my backpack is basically a thermos for ice packs now. tried to buy a t-shirt that said 'tropic vibes' but it was 200 pesos. who asks for cold weather in a place that’s basically a giant bar where everyone’s dancing to dubstep in a bikini? maybe a yoga instructor? or a про-vegan chef? idk.

streets are a mess. 72% humidity said the app, which means my hair looks like a porcupine attack gone wrong. passed a street artist who was spray painting a giant owl that looked like it was judging me. asked him why and he just yelled ‘art is a rebellion against the weather!’ then walked off. classic. if you want to see more questionable performance art, check out tripadvisor or yelp. local legends say some of these murals come alive at night. i didn’t believe it but i did waste 15 minutes staring at one that might’ve blinked.

neighbors here? they’re either sunbathing in tiny concrete boxes or selling go-carts with bongo drums attached. i heard secondhand that a tourist once tried to start a flamethrower in a taco stand and the owner just packed a scene and let it burn. drilling down into these stories feels like a game of mad libs. i heard that the beach here is cursed, but i don’t believe that. probably a drunk at a bar who got sunstroke and started typing nonsense into his phone.

i took a photo of a street sign that had a picture of a person on it. the person was obviously holding a bag of tacos.unscharp + dramatic lighting gave it the vibe of a noir thriller. someone told me that if you get bored, cancun is a short drive away to rusura where the chaos is even higher. which sounds like a bad decision but also a good one. depends if you’re into existential car rides with questionable snacks.

here’s a map if you wanna get lost.

if you’re trying to find anything that makes sense, don’t. just follow the smell of freshly fried plantains and existential dread.

images? i grabbed three unsplash pics. first is a woman in a purple and white dress standing in front of a mural that looks like a giant calendar. second is two girls on a blanket in the woods doing nothing. third is a street sign with a person holding a bag of tacos. all handled with i don’t care quality.

tips? if you see someone with a camcorder, they’re probably filming a ghost. join them. i did. it was a dog.

links: tripcadvisor.com/cancun-tourism (check reviews), yelp.com/cancun-street-art (avoid the 4am tacos), cancunlocalboards.com (for gossip about the cursed beach). also, if you like this post, dm me because i got a weird urge to start a band called the 1484817336.

last thing? weather might drop to 10.79. feels like a cry for help from the earth. hope you like that kind of thing.

tags: [travel, cancun, human, vibe, messy]

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