Cape Town Is a Wet Hug Wrapped in Fog and Bad Decisions
it’s 96% humidity and my socks are basically soup, but i’m still weirdly here for it. i just checked the weather and it’s like someone microwaved the Atlantic and poured it into a spray bottle aimed directly at my face. the numbers say 20.74°C, but honestly? it feels like a lukewarm shower that won’t end.
i’m typing this from a crumbling bnb in *Observatory, which someone on TripAdvisor swore was 'bohemian' and not 'downright moldy.' both are accurate. the host left me a note shaped like a leaf that said “blessed be” and then immediately disappeared into the ether, probably to sell crystals at a Greenmarket Square pop-up or something.
someone on the local Reddit thread (the real MVPs) told me that if you walk past Kirstenbosch after dark, the aloes start whispering about apartheid ghosts.
too real, bruh. too real.
the humidity is so high, it’s like walking through a steam room built by someone who gave exactly zero fucks. your phone fogs up when you take it out of your pocket. your hair rebels. even the sansevieria i bought from a vendor on Bree Street looked defeated. i overheard a guy at Truth Coffee Roasters-a place some Yelp lunatic described as 'The Vatican of caffeine'-say that the weather makes locals crawl into bed by 7 and text exes.
speaking of locals: my neighbor just microwaved fish at 3am. not mad, just documenting. i don’t hate it though. this place hums with wet energy. there’s a rhythm to the way the fog rolls in and out of Sea Point, and the way the city holds its breath between the cable car and the cage diving boats.
apparently, according to a lady i drunkenly interviewed outside The Old Biscuit Mill, the pressure's at 1012 hPa because the mountains are exhaling after a long week of bad juju. she also said that if i don’t go to Bo-Kaap for samoosas, i’m 'spiritually malnourished.' non-negotiable.
someone else on the Capetownism forum (those people are wild) warned that if you stay too long in the De Waterkant humidity, you start to grow gills. wild.
i’m two packs of Woolworths crisps deep and emotionally naked, but honestly if you’re into moody weather and passive-aggressive flora, Cape Town* might just be your vibe too.
okay, good talk. go sweat in style, you weirdos.
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- https://topiclo.com/post/villavicencios-economy-whats-actually-keeping-this-city-alive
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