Cebu's Sticky Sweet Symphony
here i am sprawled in a plastic chair that’s seen better decades, feet propped on a rusty railing, watching the sweat beads form on my laptop like tiny raindrops. cebu’s got this weird way of wrapping you in a warm, damp hug - not the ‘vibrant’ kind everyone raves about, more like wearing a wet sock in a sauna. i just checked the weather and it’s 25°C with humidity thick enough to chew, so if you’re into that sticky, soul-sticking kinda thing, you’re in luck. feels like 25.8? nah, feels like life’s giving you a full-body hug you didn’t ask for.
this city’s got layers like an onion that’s been dropped in a ditch. yesterday i was dodging tricycles near colon, and today i’m chilling by this waterfront where the water’s the color of weak tea. someone told me the real magic’s in the alleys near *carbon market - said you’ll find this sizzling street food that’ll make your eyes water and your knees weak. of course, that same local also warned me about the ‘too-good-to-be-true’ mango vendors who’ll sell you rock-hard unripe fruit if you look like a tourist. true story.
coworking spots? pfft. i’ve been setting up shop in this hole-in-the-wall internet cafe where the owner gives you free ube donuts if you buy coffee. wifi’s about as reliable as a politician’s promise, but the vibe’s unbeatable. heard through the grapevine that this coworking space near ayala center’s got legit AC and ergonomic chairs - perfect if you don’t mind paying double for the privilege. me? i’ll take the sticky donuts thanks.
if you get bored, the nearby islands of mactan and bohol are just a short drive or ferry hop away. bohol’s got those chocolate hills that look like god played connect-dots after a few beers. word on the street is the tarsier sanctuary is adorable but kinda sad - those little guys have eyeballs bigger than their brains. maybe stick to the beaches instead. this travel forum says the surfing in mactan’s decent if you’re okay with getting sand in every orifice. personally i’m more of a ‘watch other people wipe out’ kinda tourist.
“dude, avoid the seafood buffet at that fancy resort - they reuse the calamansi like it’s going out of style. my buddy got food poisoning so bad he was talking to his toilet for three days.”
last night i wandered past this place called joven’s* - smelled like garlic and regret. the sign said ‘authentic cebuano cuisine’ but the only authentically cebuano thing about it was the stray dog sleeping under a table. still, the lechon kawali was crispy enough to bounce off, and the beer was cold. this food blog swears by the sisig at this stall near the basilica, but i’m still nursing a stomach ache from my last street food adventure. maybe i’ll stick to instant noodles and prayer. or maybe i’ll try that tripadvisor-recommended spot - heard the halo-halo’s worth the risk of brain freeze.