cog's corner: a budget student's guide to the tiny place that somehow has more humidity than a sauna

i just woke up to the sound of a distant toaster bell, which is definitely not a toaster. maybe a toaster that’s also a philosopher. anyway, i’m in cog, which is that weird place where the weather is 25.87 and the humidity is 86. i checked my phone and it’s like, ‘you’re in a wet dream, but not the fun kind.’

this place is basically a walking mist. every time you open your mouth, it’s like you’re inhaling a fridge that forgot to turn on. i swear, the air here is so thick you could probably make a soup out of it. i just checked and it's 25.87, which is like a sauna but somehow not sweaty, like if a fridge was on vacation. i’m not complaining though, because if you’re into that kind of thing, it’s actually pretty perfect. though i did hear from someone that the coffee shops here are so humid, your coffee tastes like it’s been crying.

the neighbors? well, they’re not exactly the chatty types. if you get bored, [cog] are just a short drive away. like, a 10-minute drive, but only if you don’t mind driving through a place that looks like someone tried to build a city on a budget spreadsheet. i heard that the main road here is called ‘the Creek of Forgotten Dreams’ and it’s supposedly haunted by a guy who sells expired tomatoes. don’t ask me how that works.

i saw a review online that said the local market here is like a time capsule. someone told me that the street artist here actually uses paint made from expired paint, which is probably why their graffiti looks like it’s crying. another person said the market here sells cheese that’s been stored in a fridge for a week, but the locals just call it ‘vintage.’ i’m not sure if that’s a compliment or a warning.

if you’re thinking of throwing a party here, don’t. the vibe is so… quiet. like, the kind of quiet where even the birds are holding their breath. i heard that the best way to avoid the traffic is to take the back roads, but don’t try this at home. i tried once and ended up driving in circles for an hour. turns out the GPS was lying.

here’s the thing: cog is not a place you just walk into. it’s more like a secret that someone accidentally told you. the map here is a mess. i found this one that’s probably accurate:

. yeah, that’s the spot. the coordinates? they’re from a dream i had last week. or maybe a half-remembered dream. either way, it’s there.

i took some photos to remember this place. here’s one of a group of women in blue costumes walking down a street that doesn’t exist. or maybe it does. i can’t tell.

. and here’s another of a woman in a red dress on a porch that might or might not be real.

. and here’s a random one of people walking down a street that looks like it was painted by a drunk artist.

.

i’m not sure if i’m leaving with good memories or just a strong case of ‘what did i just do?’. but hey, if you’re into humidity and existential dread, this might be your jam. check out the local scene on TripAdvisor (https://www.tripadvisor.com), or maybe grab a coffee from the Yelp-listed café (https://www.yelp.com). there’s also a local board on Reddit (https://www.reddit.com) where people argue about the best way to avoid the traffic.

in the end, cog is just a place. a tiny, humid, slightly confusing place. but hey, that’s the point. life’s a mess, right? and if you’re a budget student, mess is your middle name.

p.s. don’t trust anyone who says ‘this place is a hidden gem.’ it’s a trap. or maybe it’s a blessing. who knows?

stay safe. or don’t.

-the budget student who forgot to charge their phone and now relies on a toaster bell.