Crime Statistics in Yopougon: Is it Getting Safer? (Or Are We Just Getting Better at Wearing Hats?)

okay so i’ve been out here taking photos at the market for the past week and i swear people stopped snatching my lens caps mid-shot two mornings ago. maybe it’s just me waking up earlier, but the whole vibe feels… different? like the city isn’t trying to kill your camera bag for a price. crime stats in yopougon are a mess to report, honestly. on one hand, you’ve got that shiny new security camera installed outside the cob’s village mall, which i swear is the same size as a bread box. on the other? my wallet’s 30% fuller after buying second-hand sandals at the market and immediately realizing i forgot to pay.

*market vendors are the real crime here. last week, a guy tried to sell me a used phone for ₦30,000 and literally* told me ‘no spreadsheet, no problem.’ i did the math in my head and it checked out? or did it? according to the abidjan crime report 2023, pickpocketing incidents dropped 7% in yopougon compared to last year. yay? maybe. maybe not. what’s not in the report is that 12% of those pickpockets are wearing the same neon sneakers i rocked yesterday. coincidence or targeted attack?

rent is still a wild card. my place here costs ₦220,000 a month, which sounds bad but check this: the average rent in cob’s village is ₦350,000. so i’m basically the broke artist living the dream. job market, though? it’s like trying to find a needle in a grain silo. the local universities are pumping out graduates for jobs that don’t exist here. one girl i met at a café (and later hacked into her laptop) said her uni told her to apply for ‘remote jobs’ that pay in usd. i told her to screen me rn. i’ll send you my paycheck.

i overheard a group of guys near the bus stop whispering about a new ‘cob’s village night security’ initiative. some said,’re they gonna send a real person or just a guy with a flashlight and a megaphone?’ others said,‘don’t listen to drunken gossip, just don’t touch the ATM till 6pm.’ this latter piece of advice stuck. last night, i did exactly that and left the machine untouched. the closest yelp review to that sentiment is from a guy who wrote, ‘yopougon’s safe as long as you don’t blindly trust tuk-tuk drivers. which is sound advice’ - he later got robbed by a tuk-tuk driver.

also, the weather here is that one where your hat becomes your first line of defense. it’s not absurdly hot or cold, but the rain’s playful. imagine if nature was just ‘yep, i’m here to ruin your camera strap.’ i walked three blocks to shoot a portrait and my gear stayed drier than my 5-year-old self’s left flip-flop. neighbors? there’s this one old man who plays accordion at 7am every morning. i don’t know if he’s trying to wake me up or audition for a movie. either way, he’s part of the ecosystem.

i linked into a tripadvisor thread about yopougon’s safety. most reviews are just people begging for a hostel with a safe. one said, ‘i came here because of the crime stats and left because of the crime stats-it’s a paradox, bro.’ that’s on point. if you wanna read more, check out the triparisabidjan subreddit. they’ve got a thread titled ‘is this the most boring infrastructure in the world?’ nobody answered. classic.

i also pulled a bad gunslinger twist-stole a fancy umbrella from a street vendor at midnight (tip: it was a fake wireframe) and used it to block the rain for my next shoot. local photographer who saw me? gave me a thumbs up. or maybe just hated my guts. who knows?

and last thing: a drone shot of yopougon at sunset? absolutely not. someone had the audacity to film my rooftop photo session and shared it on instagram. 30 likes later, i realized it was my coworker’s account. now i have to pretend i didn’t peak at his goofy action shots. #relationshipgoals

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