cusco’s chaos – a digital nomad’s midday ramblings
i woke up late last night because my laptop died at 2am while trying to stream a tapeworm documentary. woke up to 15.88 degrees celsius, which is like hugging a damp sock. the weather here is just… that kind of vibe. humidity’s at 89%, so my hair looked like a mop. i just checked and it’s drizzling here right now, hoping it doesn’t ruin my affection for sandals.
last night, i passed a market stall selling alpaca sweaters and a guy selling what i assume was lysergic acid diethylamide. not sure which is riskier. my neighbor, who i’ve never met but somehow smells like wet earth and regret, left their balcony lights on all night. if you get bored, cusco is just a short drive away, but honestly, the street art here is weirder. i heard that the main square is haunted by a guy who plays the didgeridoo at 3am. don’t believe that. maybe.
today, i tried to buy a local pupusa from a vendor who kept trying to talk to me in broken spanish. i responded in morse code. he didn’t get it. ended up paying $0.50 for a rock wrapped in corn. i feel like that’s a fair trade. the food here is either magical or cursed, and i can’t tell which. someone told me that the hostel kitchen is haunted by a chef who only cooks when he hears the sound of trombones. i’m 60% sure this is true, 40% sure i’m too lazy to verify.
i grabbed a surfboard from a dodgy rental shop near the airport. it was probably a tourist trap, but the waves out here are different. i Mean, the ocean is 10km away, but i rolled down the hill anyway. got splashed by a goat. weirdly fulfilling. i also passed a street artist covering a dumpster with a fresco of a dancing potato. no one else noticed. perfect.
the beach here is called «lesica, which is spanish for nightmare. went there expecting paradise and left with thin limbs and a lesson in self-respect. the water was so clear it looked like a Pepsi ad. someone warned me that the locals don’t drink tap water and i believed them until i saw a parrot sipping from a bottle labeled "drinkable".
for advice, i turned to a random yelp review written by a person who clearly hates humanity. it said, "avoid this area after dark - the orcas come out to play." i laughed, but then a man in a parka showed up asking for directions to a "literal" orca park. turns out he was looking for a dive shop. weird.
i’ll probably post this while sitting in a hammock at 9pm, sipping coffee at 15.85 degrees. feels like the perfect temperature for existential dread. checked the sea-level pressure and it’s 1018 hpa. don’t ask why that matters. probably just helps me feel connected to the planet’s immediate consciousness.
links:
- tripadvisor: 🔉 link to cusco hostels
- yelp: 🖰 local food guide
- local board: 📞 community gossip thread
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