da nang diary: when your sweat is your only souvenir
i landed in da nang with exactly $30 in my pocket and a philosophy that cheap noodles solve everything. *my khe beach welcomed me with sand so fine it felt like walking through flour-except this flour was sticky with humidity. i just checked and it's currently clinging to you like a second skin, hope you like that kind of thing. the locals swear by breathing through your nose when it hits 87% humidity; turns out they're not wrong.
pro move: skip the tourist traps and hunt for bánh mì carts under the bridges near dragon bridge. i found this dude who sold me three for $1.50 while arguing with his wife about motorbike parking-real vietnamese reality show. if you get bored, hue and hoi an are just a cheap bus ride away, but honestly? da nang's where the chaos lives.
someone told me that marble mountains are basically nature's playground if you sneak in after 5pm. security's nonexistent and the cave echoes turn your whispers into dramatic monologues-free therapy session. also heard that son tra peninsula has wild monkeys who'll steal your sunscreen if you look at them funny.
for $2 street pho: follow the smell of fish sauce near han market. this grandma with missing teeth gave me directions while swatting flies with her flip-flop-bless her. avoid the seafood restaurants unless you want to pay $20 for a crab that looks like it escaped from a cartoon.
"didja hear? that rooftop bar near the bridge? they water down the mojitos with tap water. my cousin's cousin's friend's neighbor's dog told me."
"if you eat too much bánh xèo here, your farts smell like coconut for three days. trust me, science didn't study this but my guts did."
for real budget tips: sleep in those $8/night beach huts with sand-in-your-bed privileges. bring a towel because hostel towels feel like sandpaper. and if you see a motorbike taxi driver quoting $5 for a 2km ride? just laugh and walk.
check out this da nang survival guide for more questionable advice. also, this yelp list of hole-in-the-wall joints saved my stomach.
humidity: 87% | my mood: 100% chaotic | bank account: negative but happy.
"someone said ba na hills* is worth the $ cable car ticket even if you hate crowds. said the french village looks like disney threw up."
p.s. if you get robbed, just ask for your phone back-it probably has better photos than your passport.