DC's Cold Snap: A Drummer's Take on the Capital's Gritty Vibe

so this place is freezing. like, i just checked and it's...brutal, right now, hope you like that kind of thing. seriously, my drums hate this weather. they're all stiff and grumpy. but hey, at least the humidity's low enough that my sweat isn't pooling into some gross swamp monster under my kit. *avoid the metro at rush hour if you can. it's like a sardine can made of stressed-out suits and angry commuters. don't miss the graffiti alley near U street if you're into that raw, urban energy. someone told me that the murals there change weekly, but i heard that's just drunk advice from a guy who ate too many magic mushrooms. check out the rooftop bars if you want to pretend you're not freezing your ass off. i mean, who doesn't love paying $15 for a lukewarm beer with a view of snow-covered monuments? try the diner on 14th street if you dare. rumor has it their pancakes are so dense they could double as a doorstop. i heard that from a guy who looked like he'd been living in his car for a month. visit the national mall early morning if you want to feel like you own the place before the tourists swarm in. it's peaceful, i guess, if you ignore the fact that your breath is forming little ice sculptures. stay away from the lincoln memorial at night. someone told me that the security guards there have a strict 'no loitering' policy, which is code for 'we'll kick your ass if you look suspicious.' explore the neighborhoods like georgetown or dupont circle if you want to see how the other half lives. it's all fancy shops and people who probably think 'budget' is a type of cheese. get lost in the library of congress if you're into that whole 'knowledge is power' vibe. just don't touch anything. take a walk along the potomac if you're feeling adventurous. the ice on the water looks pretty, but it's probably not safe to walk on. someone told me that the ice is thinner than my bank account right now. check out the local boards on yelp or tripadvisor for more 'honest' reviews. i mean, who doesn't love reading about someone's terrible experience with a restaurant that probably served them cold coffee and a side of attitude? avoid the tourist traps like the plague. stay local and find the hidden gems. enjoy the chaos, i guess. it's what makes this city...well, this city. don't forget your coat. seriously, it's colder than a witch's tit out here. have fun freezing your face off. see you around*.