des moines hustle: the jobs that actually pay the rent (and the ones that don't)
look, i’ll be real with you. i came to des moines thinking it was just a flyover state punchline. three years of corporate consulting later, i’m still here, somehow. not because i love it-though the cheap rent is a drug-but because the job market here is a weird, specific beast. it’s not silicon valley, it’s not new york. it’s ‘insurance capital of the world’ and ‘where midwestern stability goes to die slowly.’ so, what’s actually hiring? let’s peel this onion.
first, the giant, immovable object: *healthcare and insurance. i’m not talking about being a nurse-though they’re always hiring, my sister’s an rn at unitypoint and her life is a rotating shift of chaos and fulfillment. i’m talking about the back-office grift. claims adjusters, underwriters, data analysts with a pulse, compliance nerds. principal financial group, wellmark blue cross blue shield, avantus-they’re not flashy, but they have a stranglehold. you can get a job here with a certificate from some online program and a work ethic that doesn’t make you want to jump off the bridge. median rent for a one-bedroom in the east village is like $1,100. you do the math on what an insurance ops manager pays versus what a barista at horizon’s makes. spoiler: it’s not close. the city’s safer than my grandma’s quilt, too-low crime, weirdly clean streets. it’s the kind of place where you leave your car unlocked and just feel… guilty about it.
now for the messy, unpredictable shit. the ‘gig economy’ here isn’t just uber eats. it’s a patchwork of freelance graphic design for the 800 local banks, social media managers for every farm equipment dealer from ankeny to west des moines. the digital nomad types i know here? they’re all building websites for agtech startups or doing seo for boutique law firms. it’s not ‘digital freedom,’ it’s ‘specializing in tractor financing ads.’ oh, and the food scene. don’t get me started. you think you’re a ‘professional chef’ here? good luck. the fine dining is a quiet, desperate cry for help. but if you know how to run a kitchen for a corporate cafeteria-like at hy-vee or wells fargo’s internal dining-you’re set. it’s a town of institutional food, and someone’s gotta make the pizza rolls for the 3pm board meeting.
overheard gossip block #1: i was at the fulcrum coffee spot on ingersoll-overpriced, terrible wi-fi, great for people-watching-and these two bros in lululemon were complaining. one goes, ‘man, the talent pool here is all corporate zombies or trust fund art majors.’ the other sips his $7 oat milk latte: ‘yeah, but the zombie pays my mortgage. the art major? he’s on my ‘frequent donor’ list at blood plasma center.’ harsh? maybe. true? check the r/desmoines job board threads sometime. it’s a blood plasma economy.
overheard gossip block #2: my barista at scenic route (good coffee, actually) is a former indie film scout from chicago. she said, ‘there’s no film scene here. just a bunch of people pretending there is so they can feel cool about their 9-5 at the copy shop.’ brutal. but she’s right. the ‘creative’ jobs are nonprofits doing grant writing for after-school programs or a graphic designer at a church. unless you count the one street artist who tags the side of the iowa Events Center and gets arrested weekly. he’s consistent, i’ll give him that.
weather? it’s currently a humid as a dishcloth, 88 degrees with a threat of thunderstorms that will drown your garden and your spirit in 10 minutes flat. it’s not ‘four seasons,’ it’s ‘blanket swamp’ and ‘frigid wind tunnel.’ but hey, short flight to chicago if you need to remember what a real skyline looks like, or a three-hour drive east to the mississippi river bluffs if you need to pretend you’re not in iowa.
i tried to be a marathon runner here. terrible idea. the ‘trails’ are mostly paved, flat, and buzzing with cyclists in spandex who take themselves too seriously. the real runners are the ones in $200 shoes running from their student loans at drake university.
look, the secret isn’t finding the ‘sexy’ job. it’s finding the job that hooks into des moines’ hidden circulatory system. tech? sure, but not app development. it’s dev-ops for insurance companies. ‘data science’? it’s analysts who know sql and can explain it to a 65-year-old vp who still uses a blackberry. project management? it’s managing the rollout of new benefits software across 40 states. the high-paying gigs are boring, stable, and will bore you to tears. they’ll also let you buy a house with a yard where you can grill and stare at cornfields and pretend you’re not living in a giant, friendly, corporate spreadsheet.
i’ll leave you with this. if you’re a *vintage clothes picker dreaming of scoring 70s band tees, forget it. the thrift stores are picked clean by moms looking for ‘festival outfits.’ if you’re a botanist, congrats, you’re in the right state for corn and soy, but the real money’s in lab tech for seed companies like pioneer. the hustle here isn’t about passion projects. it’s about finding the duct tape holding the local economy together and becoming an expert in that specific brand of duct tape. now if you’ll excuse me, i have a conference call about ‘synergistic workflows’ at 2pm. pray for me.
p.s. if you need a coffee that doesn’t taste like hot regret, go to backstories coffee. if you need to feel like you’re on a vacation without leaving the midwest, the japanese garden at des moines botanical garden is a cheat code. tripadvisor’s got the deets. and whatever you do, don’t eat at the ‘famous’ place downtown just because it’s on yelp*. trust thelocals, not the tourists.