dubai’s not what you think, maybe?

i woke up at 4am and forgot why i was awake. not because i was thinking hard about existential dread or anything like that. just… the energy in dubai posted itself somewhere. like a bad invisible party. you know that feeling when you’re in a place and it’s like the walls are breathing? that’s what it was. or maybe the air. or both. it was 23.93°C, which is technically warm, but in dubai, it’s just the baseline. i checked again later and it was still ’round there, which is basically a personal vendetta against curiosity. hope you like that kind of thing.

this place has neighbors. not like, human neighbors who say ‘hello’ or leave takeout boxes on your doorstep. no. these are the souks. the sounds of mint tea counters, the smell of saffron clinging to your sandals. once, a vendor tried to sell me a gold-plated telescope. i told him i only had three dirhams and he just laughed. i think he was testing me. or maybe he was just lost. either way, it’s part of the charm. if you ask me, the city’s vibe is 70% chaos and 30% someone quietly sipping coffee while arguing with a pigeon.

i heard that the metro is haunted. not in the ghost hunting way, though. more like, people say it’s cursed because once, a construction worker got stuck in a tunnel for three days and now the lights flicker whenever he passes. i don’t know if it’s true. but then again, who’s counting? i scribbled that down in my notebook. which i then realized was full of other half-baked theories. like the time i swore i saw a camel wearing a beret. turns out it was a tourist. or maybe not. who knows?

the weather today is a single number: 23.93. which means it’s not raining, not snowing, not even sweating. it’s just… there. which is weird. in a city that’s built around extremes, dubai insists on being comfortable. i almostmocked it at first, but then i realized comfort is what keeps people here. or maybe it’s the other way around. either way, i’m taking notes. i linked to a map so you can see where all this chaos is happening.

i took some photos. not the fancy polished kind. more like… the kind you take when you realize your camera is dying and you don’t care anymore. here’s one of a sign that said ‘freealtair’ in english. which is great because i asked for ‘freeal’ and this happened.

here’s another where i tried to photograph a date palm but it was like, ‘nope, i’m not participating in your art project.’

and here’s a random one of a guy sellingperpaintball guns. who knows what he’ll be next to.

someone told me the dunes are illegal. is that true? i don’t know. i didn’t ask. but i did hear that if you walk far enough into the desert, there’s a village where time stops. or slows down. or just becomes very quiet. i’m not saying it’s real. but if it is, someone needs to film it. i’d pay good money for that footage. link to a yelp page where a guy claimed he saw a UFO there. dubai_tourism.gov.ua is also worth a read if you want to plan your next existential crisis on a beach.

the locals have opinions. not because they’re mean, but because they’ve seen everything. once, a taxi driver told me not to drink the tap water. i did anyway. it tasted like regret and mint. which is probably accurate. another time, a barista whispered to me that the best coffee in the city is in a place that’s always closed. maybe that’s a metaphor. maybe it’s literal. who knows? i’m going to assume it’s the latter. if you’re visiting, i recommend asking strangers about things. they’ll either tell you the truth or a lie that tastes like adventure.

dubai is not what it seems. or maybe it is. i’m still not sure. but i did manage to find a spot where the buildings lean into the wind and it made me think of a drunk flamingo. which is probably not how anyone else feels. if you need help, just go to TripAdvisor and type in ‘dubai weird places.’ someone there will have the exact same opinion as you. or the opposite. either way, it’s fun.

i’m leaving tomorrow. or maybe not. this place has a way of sticking to you. like static on a radio. or maybe that’s just me. either way, thanks for reading. if you’re thinking of coming, pack sunscreen and a sense of wonder. and maybe a extra set of socks. you never know when the ground might give way. it’s 23.93 here, but in my head, it’s 107.86. same difference, really.

if you get bored, the beach is just a short drive away.