Finding an English-Speaking Doctor in Lomé: My Brain’s Officially Fried
okay, so lemme tell you, Lomé. it’s… something. i’ve been here three weeks, fueled by lukewarm coffee and the vague hope of finding a decent doc who doesn’t just stare at me like i’ve sprouted a second head. seriously, the humidity here is a whole vibe. it’s like stepping into a damp towel, but the towel is also trying to sell you something. it’s… intense.
Right, so the doctor thing. it’s a nightmare. i’ve been trawling through TripAdvisor - seriously, the reviews are… questionable. like, one guy said Dr. Kouassi speaks fluent English, but then the next review is “he just pointed at a chart and grunted.” TripAdvisor Lomé Doctors. I’m starting to think “fluent” is a very loose term here.
I’m talking about a city that’s basically a gateway to the Sahara, you know? Just a short flight to Niamey, and then you’re in… well, sand. But the vibe is different. Lomé’s got this… gritty charm. Like, it’s not trying to be anything it’s not. And the cost of living? Let’s talk about it. According to Numbeo, renting a one-bedroom apartment is around $200-$400 a month - which is pretty decent, honestly, compared to, like, Berlin. But groceries? $50-$80 a week. And the job market… well, let’s just say “opportunities” is a generous word. Mostly import/export, some tourism, and a whole lotta shea butter. Numbeo Lomé. I’ve been trying to freelance - mostly writing, which is ironic, considering i’m writing about finding a doctor. It’s slow. Real slow.
I overheard some guys at the bar last night - they were arguing about whether the new hospital was actually good. One of them, a mechanic named Issa, said, “It’s shiny, yeah, but the nurses… they don’t speak much English. They just look at you like you’re a strange animal.” (Blockquote 1)
Then this older woman, selling phone cases, told me, “Don’t trust the doctors who advertise in French. They’ll try to charge you double. Find someone who’s been around a while, someone who knows the real price.” (Blockquote 2)
Seriously, the local gossip is a goldmine. It’s like, the only reliable information you’re gonna get. I’m starting to think I need a translator, a medic, and a really, really strong coffee.
I found a Reddit thread - r/Lomé - and it’s… chaotic. Mostly people complaining about the internet, but a few people mentioned Dr. Yao, who apparently speaks decent English and is relatively affordable. It’s a long shot, but it’s better than nothing.
And the weather? It’s like a sauna that’s slowly melting. Yesterday it was “tropical drizzle with a chance of existential dread.” Today it’s “humid and vaguely threatening.” It’s always something. The air smells like dust and mangoes, which is… a lot.
I’m starting to think I’m going to end up just diagnosing myself with heatstroke. I need a doctor. A real doctor. Someone who doesn’t look at me like I’m an alien. Someone who can actually understand what I’m saying. Someone who doesn’t charge me $500 for a band-aid.
Seriously, if anyone has any leads, hit me up. I’m desperate. And probably dehydrated.
Oh, and one last thing: apparently, the best place to get a decent baguette is at Boulangerie Le Soleil. Don’t ask me why, I just heard it from a guy selling sunglasses. (Blockquote 3)
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