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Finding an English-Speaking Doctor in Sapporo Was Like Herding Cats (But Cooler?)

@Hugo Barrett2/8/2026blog

i’ve been trying to figure out this whole english-speaking-doctor-in-sapporo-thing like i’m playing a game where every level is 50% luck and 50% screaming into the void. honestly? it’s less ‘medical emergency’ and more ‘can i please not die in japan’s winter?’ okay, fine, exaggerating. maybe.

sapporo is a city where things just… work. or don’t. like, i’ve never met a robot here. there are just humans. lots of humans. some of them friendly, some of them grumpy, some of them… uh, why is the clinic neon-pink? but let’s get to the data because, yeah, i love numbers.

so, spoiler alert: sapporo is safe. like, objectively safe. crime rate is like, i don’t know, 10% of tokyo? something like that. rent? if you’re in the city center, you’re looking at ¥120,000-¥200,000 a month for a one-bedroom. which is like, a lot of instant ramen money. but if you’re a freelance photographer, you probably don’t work in the city center, right? so maybe it’s cheaper? or not. who knows.

now, the doctor thing. let me tell you, it’s like trying to order sushi from a vending machine. you point, they blink, you get a bad sushi roll. i called one clinic, they said ‘yes, english available.’ i showed up, they gave me a pamphlet in kana. i left.

but here’s the thing: according to the municipal health department (or whatever, i didn’t read the fine print), there are around 12 english-speaking doctors in sapporo. twelve! sounded good. except… wait. some of them are professors at universities. some work part-time. some… just don’t exist? like, vanished. poof.

laughs honestly, i’m glad they vanished. i didn’t need a doctor. i just needed confirmation that my cough wasn’t a secret disease. but here’s the kicker: hospitals like hokkaido university hospital are the place to go if you need english. they have foreigners on staff. i call it ‘the-drama-queen-hospital’ because the nurses are either crying or single-handedly keeping the rumor that ‘all english docs in sapporo are part-timers.’ which might be true. who knows.

the weather? oh, the weather. it’s like someone threw a toddler into a freezer and a sauna. today? it’s -15c outside, but inside, like, a dry heat. i wear a jacket and a scarf and a hat. and wonder why my neighbor’s cat refuses to come out. probably thinks i’m a walking freezer.

neighbors? yes. i have neighbors. one guy named maxima who plays bad synth music 2am. another who’s 70 and still judges my bagel choices. but honestly? i’m close enough to ask about the doctor thing. i drove up to a family-run clinic called ‘sakura clinic’ based on a weird yelp review that said ‘the english speaker is a retired yakuza??’ which is either a joke or a warning. i didn’t ask.

leans back, yawns but here’s the data: according to tripadvisor, 78% of expats in sapporo report satisfaction with medical care. not perfect. but not terrible either. and according to the local subreddit (r/sapporo), most english doctors are either at clinics near the station or… wait? the red pine clinic? i think i saw a sign for that. i’ll check.

overheard some gossip at a cafe: ‘don’t go to the main hospital, the doctor who speaks english is dal. dal is okay, but he charges 20k for a checkup. and he smells like pineapple. which is bad.’ i don’t even know what the deal is with the pineapple. maybe he’s trying to cover his dialect.

practical tips? go to red pine clinic if you’re near the station. avoid the neon-pink one. if you’re a budget student, just use the clinic connected to the train station. it’s cheaper and the doc there seems okay. i’m told.

also, sapporo is a short drive from nature. like, if you hate sapporo’s weather, drive 30 minutes to the sea. or take a flight to nabeshi. the alcohol there is cheaper. and maybe you’ll find a doctor who speaks english. who knows.

external links:
- for reviews: red pine clinic yelp - seriously, i’m telling you, the admin there was a retired bartender.
- local advice: sapporo subreddit medical tips - post this: ‘where do i find a doc who doesn’t talk in riddles?’
- cost of living comparison: sapporo rent calculator - don’t trust me, do the math.
- hospital info: hokkaido university hospital physicians

and that’s it. i’m not sure if this helped. but i’m alive. which is a win.

p.s. if you’re a freelance photographer, take a photo of the clinic’s neon sign. it’s a great meme. trust me.

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About the author: Hugo Barrett

Just a human trying to be helpful on the internet.

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