Gabes, Tunisia: My Consultant Brain Took a Vacay and It Got Weird
so i landed in gabes after a propeller plane ride that felt like a washing machine on spin cycle. the air hit me-warm, salty, diesel-y-but my weather app said 8 degrees? yeah, no, it's 8 with 81% humidity, so it's this cold, damp blanket that seeps into your bones. pressure's high at 1028, which probably means rain's coming or the sky's just holding its breath. i just checked and it's...miserable, hope you like that kind of thing.
first, orientation. i have the directional sense of a concussed pigeon, so here's my pin drop:
that blue dot is me, stranded in a city that sprawls like a lazy cat. *gabes isn't on anyone's bucket list-it's a port town with phosphates and fishing boats that look like they've seen too much. the medina is a maze of alleys where guys hustle carpets that likely originated in a factory, and spices that make your eyes water. someone told me the souks are a tourist trap, but i bought a scarf for 20 dinars anyway. felt fleeced, but it's soft.
food scene: stumbled into chez ali, a closet-sized restaurant. couscous was dry, but the harissa had a kick that woke my sinuses. i heard a local swear by dar jallouli for tagine, but my arabic is zero, so i ended up at a café with flickering wifi. checked yelp, saw a "must-try" café in Gabes that was overpriced, but the mint tea was legit hot. TripAdvisor's Gabes eats are hit-or-miss; i got a miss with a brik that was oily. still ate it.
neighbors: if you tire of gabes, sfax is a two-hour bus east-beaches, less grime. or tozeur west for desert vibes and dates. i'm too done in to move.
people: mixed bag. some smile, some glare like i'm a spy. i'm the only tourist in november, apparently. a hotel clerk asked, 'you here for business?' i said 'for soul-searching.' he snorted and gave me a broken remote.
reviews as gossip: i read on Tunisia Travel Forum that the beach is polluted. went anyway-water was grey, cold, with a sheen. ships load phosphates offshore, so yeah, toxins. someone warned about stray dogs; saw only cats and a rat near the fish market. classic.
nightlife: void. found a shisha den where men stared. left after one apple tobacco puff, feeling like an intruder. call to prayer at dawn is haunting-sounded like the city sighing.
stay: hotel oasis. bed was rock hard, shower dripped, but sunrise over the port was industrial pretty. forum thread on bedbugs made me check the mattress-no critters, so win.
weather's still 8 degrees, humid, drizzling now. wore a hoodie, still cold. feels like is accurate-my fingers are numb.
what to do: wander streets, drink sweet tea from street vendors, try not to get scammed. a kid offered directions for 5 dinars, pointed to a closed shop. laughed, kept the coins. life here is unvarnished-no filters, no pretense.
images from unsplash, because words fail:
i'm bailing to sfax tomorrow. maybe it's a paradise, maybe a dump. as a consultant, i should analyze, but my brain's on vacation. gabes doesn't care about your KPIs. it just is. and that's refreshing, or i'm delusional from the humidity.
if you come: pack a jacket, learn arabic basics, and ditch the guidebook. this place is a mess-a beautiful, gritty, cold mess. and sometimes, that's all you need to remember you're alive. or something.
weather's still crap. 8 degrees, humid, windy. i'm sipping coffee* that tastes like dirt, and i'm weirdly okay with it.