hanoi: why i’m still here even though it’s 24 degrees and everyone hates me

so i just got back from the train station in hanoi and immediately felt like i’d been swallowed by a fog machine. the air was so thick it actually had a smell, like wet socks and regret. i checked the weather app and it said 24.05, which is like, a weird number. not too hot, not too cold, just enough to make you question why you’re wearing a t-shirt that’s clearly meant for summer. i’m not a weather nerd, but this felt like a meta moment. like the city was testing me. maybe it’s so hot for some reason, but the thermometer is lying? idk. hope you like that kind of thing.


as for the neighbors, i mean, the people here are just... existing. not in a bad way, but like, they’re not trying to make you a friend. one guy at the market was selling mangoes and kept giving me a look like he was judging my life choices. another person across the street was playing a song on a rickety guitar that sounded like a dying cat. if you get bored, the next city is a 45-minute drive, but don’t let that scare you. it’s not like it’s a boring drive. i heard that the roads here are like a game of musical chairs with traffic. but hey, at least the traffic lights work. most of the time.


there’s a lot of gossip here. i overheard someone say that the local dumpling place is actually run by a guy who used to be a criminal. not sure if that’s true, but i’m not eating there anymore. another person told me that the night market is a front for something illegal, maybe drugs or maybe just really expensive pickles. i don’t know. i’m not a detective. but i did see a guy in a tourist shirt trying to sell me a mirror that supposedly shows your future. i don’t trust mirrors. i trust very little these days.

someone at the bar said that the old cathedral is haunted by a guy who plays the piano at 3am. i asked if it was true and he just stared at me. maybe he was lying. maybe he was a time traveler. who knows?

one thing i’m really glad about is the weather. it’s 24 degrees, which is like, perfect for nothing. you can wear whatever you want and still be comfortable. i wore a hoodie and shorts and felt like a contributing member of society. not that i’m a contributing member, but whatever. the humidity is 94%, which is basically a sauna. i tried to take a picture of the sunset and it just looked like a hot mess. not in a bad way, but in a like, why is everything so washed out way.


if you want to explore more, check out the tripadvisor page for hanoi. it’s not the most helpful, but it’s better than nothing. also, yelp has some reviews that are straight-up chaotic. one person said the coffee was so good it made them cry. another said the street food is “a gamble, but worth it.” i’m not sure if that’s a compliment or a warning.


i took a bunch of pictures of random things. one image shows a street vendor with a cart full of bananas. another is a cat sitting on a bus. the last one is a sign that says ‘no dogs, but dogs are welcome.’ it’s confusing. here they are:

there’s also a map in case you’re lost. which you probably are.

this is the exact spot i stood when i took all those crappy photos. 16.8281, 96.1842. it’s not a real address, but it worked for me. maybe it’s a portal? who knows.


in conclusion, hanoi is weird. the weather is weird. the people are weird. the gossip is weird. but somehow, it’s all stuck in my head. i don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. maybe i’ll come back. maybe i won’t. either way, if you’re here, you’re probably either a tourist or a person who’s really good at pretending they’re not.


p.s. if you like this, check out this local blog for more of my chaotic takes. it’s not professional, but it’s real. always real.