havana broke: my sweaty, chaotic student survival guide

okay so imagine rolling into havana with like $20 and a hunger for adventure. that was me. sweaty, sleep-deprived, and already questioning life choices. i just looked and it's a soupy 30c out there, take it or leave it-humidity’s basically a second skin here. if you’re over it, you can hop in a rickety bus and be in matanzas before your granola bar runs out.

first stop: hostel la guarida. (shoutout to this yelp review that saved my ass). someone warned me about the plumbing, but honestly? who needs hot water when you’ve got a balcony overlooking crumbling colonial buildings?

“that paladar on calle obispo? they charge tourists double. slip in with a local’s smirk.”

ate more plantains than humanly possible. honestly, *la casa del moro’s $3 lunch could feed a small army. also discovered that $1 mojitos are basically required hydration here. dehydration’s real, kids.

“skip the museum. find the crumbling dance hall behind plaza vieja. real salsa happens where the tiles are loose.”

someone told me the vintage market on g street’s a tourist trap, but i scored a $5 guayabera shirt that now smells like cigar smoke and regret. this forum spilled the tea though-go tuesday mornings when the real dealers show up.

“don’t take the classic car tour too literally. my driver made a detour for his cousin’s quinceañera.”

survival tips: sunscreen’s your best friend, carry toilet paper (restrooms are dicey), and el floridita’s $12 daiquiris? nah. hit la bodeguita del medio* for the $2 version. same hype, less debt. this tripadvisor thread broke it down nicely.

“those guys offering cigars? ask to see their license. real cuban tobacco doesn’t glow in the dark.”

left with a sunburn, a pocketful of loose pesos, and a souvenir headache. but hey-when’s the next time you’ll argue with a cab driver over $0.50 while dodging vintage car fumes? that’s havana, baby.