How to Find an Apartment in Chiang Mai (Like a Proper Skeptical Human)

let me just say: finding a place to live in chiang mai without getting your ass handed to you is almost like dating someone you met on tinder-full of fake pics, vague promises, and a deep, inexplicable sense that you’re being lied to at every turn.

anyway. i’m currently squatting in what can only be described as a sticky-floored 1-br with a fan that sounds like a helicopter about to die, so maybe take that with a grain of salt. but these are some real lessons i learned the hard way (read: got ghosted by landlord after paying deposit).

first off: chiang mai is deceptively cheap-if you know where to look

here’s a table of stuff i track weekly because spreadsheets keep me sane:

don't trust the pics, ever.

i once signed a lease for a place that showed a swimming pool-ended up being a puddle, covered in fallen durian shells. (pro tip: never trust a place that doesn't show you the bathroom.) the internet lies; the photos definitely lie more. use chiang mai sub-reddit for semi-real stories.

facebook groups won’t save you-but at least they’re trashy fun

a guy once told me in cm property rentals that his place had "mountain vibes" and "high-speed wifi." it was a tin shed in a mango field with one plug and the carcass of a roku sticking out of it. supposedly. never met the guy. probably a figment of my existential crisis.

> "oh, just look for a place with cats. cats = good vibes."
> - drunk advice from a guy named toy at analog, 2am.

chiang mai is getting flooded already-yep, june again

it’s wet. like, back-alley gutter-splash wet. and when it’s not wet it’s dusty dry and so hot you sweat through your eyebrows. the neighborhood i'm in right now-nawarat-is just across the ping river from the old city, which makes scooting over for temples or tacos easy, but holy hell is it loud during songkran and loy krathong. still. i can be in bangkok in under an hour if i really need to lose myself in traffic and soulless malls.

anyway. walking around solo will get you the best deals-but prepare for aggressive eye contact and circular conversations at every turn. this isn’t a bad thing, exactly, just very thailand.

> "he moved to chiang mai and now he just stares at monks all day."
> - something a local warned me about, outside temple of the dawn.

don’t pay for anything before you have the keys

i got burnt-hard-after sending 5,000 baht via promptpay to a "landlady" who vanished into the blurred fog of chiang mai’s rainy season and a very, very empty apartment. screenshot everything and do not move until the lease says "maybe okay maybe not, good luck." legally, you’re hosed. culturally, it’s a "rough day, better luck next rainy season" type situation.

chrome extensions like thai property listings checker are sleek, sure, but the best tactic is watching how many random aunties are sitting on the balcony. their presence usually means it’s legit-and they’re also your new gossip lifeline.

> "he got scammed because he trusted the photo. "
> - overheard at my sticky-floored apartment compound.

damn straight.

so screw templates. skip the polished expat blogs that tell you chiang mai is a "digital nomad’s dream." sure, it’s cheaper than oakland or melbourne, but only if you learn the actual slang (not the tourist phrases), build a little trust, and stop assuming everyone’s trying to rip you off-including yourself.

now let me go duck under my fan and pretend it's not 39°c again.

(you might also like some forum drama at thai.voyager or setting your trauma loose on tripadvisor’s chiang mai things to do. you’re welcome.)

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