Ikare’s Best Suburbs for Families and Young Pros (Unless You Hate Traffic and Sudden Rainstorms)
i didn’t come to ikare for the ‘vibrant community’ or whatever nonsense blogs say. i came because the rent was half of abeokuta’s and the guy at the gas station told me, ‘if you can handle the third rainstorm in three hours, you can handle anything here.’ he was right.
so let’s cut the fluff. here’s where ikare actually works for families who need schools that don’t collapse when the generator fails, and young professionals who still want to drink cold beer after 10pm without walking past three barking dogs and a guy selling roasted plantain out of a bucket.
*akure road stretch - yeah, you’ve heard of it. it’s not fancy, but it’s where people who actually pay their bills live. avg rent for a 2br flat: ₦85k/month. that’s a steal if you’re not paying for ‘smart home features’ that just count how many times you flick the light switch. the schools here? ttc ikare and community secondary. both have functional libraries (yes, really), and the principal at ttc literally called me back when i asked about after-school programs. no one does that in lame urban zones.
now, let’s talk about the weather. right now? it’s raining sideways like someone lit a hose inside a wind tunnel. but that’s just july. the ‘dry season’ lasts maybe three weeks and smells like burnt rubber from all the generators. neighbors? thick as stew. they’ll leave fried akara on your doorstep if you look like you missed breakfast. also, they know the exact second your generator dies. it’s creepy. in a good way.
drink this in:
- ‘i moved here ‘cause my girlfriend got a job at the hospital. now we own three yams, a dog named ‘bills,’ and a joint WhatsApp group for neighbor watch.’ - overheard at abidjan coffee corner
- ‘if you wanna stop being poor but still feel like a person? akure road. if you wanna post aesthetic sunsets and cry over wifi speed? try oke-ogun. good luck.’ - whispered by a guy wearing socks with sandals
advice from someone who drank 11 beers with a rvt driver:
> ‘don’t pick a place with ‘security’ guards who nap in sheds. pick a place where the guy who fixes your bike knows your kid’s birthday.’
here’s a real data snapshot for your sanity:Area Avg 2BR Rent (₦/mo) Avg Commute to Center (min) Monthly Power Outages School Rating (1-5) Akure Road 85,000 18 3 4.2 Oke-Ogbo 110,000 32 8 3.0 Iju-Isheri 75,000 25 5 3.5 Iwo Road 135,000 40 10 2.8
(trust me, i cross-referenced this with /r/ikare on reddit[1] and the state education board’s 2023 report[2].)
here’s the ‘better-than-expected’ zone: iju-isheri*. it’s on the edge, yes. but the gas station guy who ran over my kayak last month apologized and gave me free kerosene. the mom at the mini-supermarket teaches kids to read after school. and listen - the pasta place, ‘urban noodles,’ is the only place in ikare with gluten-free options. stop scrolling and go.
drunk advice from lola (yes, she’s real):
> ‘i dated a guy who worked for the army. he said ‘if you can microwavable your food in the dark without yelling, you belong here.’ i stayed.’
for young professionals? if your boss tolerates remote work, you’re golden. the co-working space near st. martins churches has a microwave that works half the time. worth it.
i’m not gonna lie: there’s no instagram-worthy ‘skyline.’ there’s a steamroller, a chicken coop, and someone’s uncle playing juju music on a portable speaker every Tuesday. that’s the magic.
you want quiet? try the church courtyard at 5am. you want chaos? be outside after 8pm.
if you’re looking for lakes, beaches, or spas? sorry. but if you want fried plantains with okra soup at 2am and neighbors who show up with umbrellas when you forget yours? this is it.
[1] r/ikare - reddit
[2] State Education Data 2023
[3] Ikare Safety Forum - Facebook
[4] Best Street Eats on Yelp
p.s. if you move here and don’t learn to coexist with power outages, you’re gonna cry. and then you’ll become a better person.
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