Is Harare Overrated? A Reality Check for Newcomers (Sure, It’s Hot. No, It’s Not a Resort.)
i moved to harare last year thinking it was some hidden gem but let’s just say my first week here wasn’t exactly a rom-com. it was more like waking up to a street musician playing a soggy harmonica because the rain decided to forget what a warm day was. anyway. let’s talk about why harare’s hype doesn’t match up with reality-or maybe it does? depends on what you care about.
*the safety dance
so here’s the thing: harare’s crime stats? they’re like a bad pop song. you won’t hear the chorus. you’ll just feel the shame. last i checked, the homicide rate was enough to make a mattress need therapy. sure, some areas are safer than others, but let’s be real-stairs? elevators? both are basically wars waiting to happen. a local told me to ignore every taxi driver’s offer to ‘drop you safely’ after 10pm. true story. i did it anyway. got robbed of a chapati. also, the universities? student riots at 2am are a weekly playlist. no, not metaphorically.
but here’s the data part: according to the zimbabwe national statistics agency, harare’s crime rate per 100,000 people is-yikes-247. for comparison, seattle’s is like… 3. but hey, maybe you’ll think twice about sitting in a dimly lit pub after that story from the drunk guy at the karaoke bar.
kopo kopo on rent
rent in harare is a mystery wrapped in mystery wrapped in a mosquito net. i paid $300 for a one-bedroom in a dodgy part of cądra that smells like burnt plastic and regrets. of course, that $300 would get you a three-bedroom in johannesburg. harare’s real estate market is a horror movie where the rent keeps rising but the quality of life? stuck in 2005. a friend of mine rents a room for $100/month but lives in a place where the landlord comes unannounced to ‘check’ your stuff. no, he doesn’t live there. he just… likes your stuff.
here’s the kicker: harare’s cost of living index is 35% cheaper than london. sure. but if you factor in the time you’ll spend lobbying your landlord to fix the collapsing ceiling, it’s 45% cheaper while you wait.
shooting in the chaos
as a freelance photographer, i’ve learned harare’s chaos is both a blessing and a curse. picture a market where vendors shout in 12 languages, a taxidermied porcupine for sale next to a guy hawking fake designer sunglasses, and a generator humming in the background. that’s your content goldmine. but also, water pressure in my apartment is so low that i can only flush the toilet once a week. you gotta prioritize what traumatizes you more, right?
external links here for you to judge:
- tripadvisor harare safety tips
- yelp harare hotels not haunted by ex-Japanese tourists
- reddit r/harare expat experiences
- local harare market deals subreddit
the weather? surprise! something new
it’s not hot. it’s… muggy. like the kind of humidity that makes your soul sweat. last week, it rained so hard my camera battery died and i had to email my portfolio to my ex using a 3g connection through a spicy papaya. neighbors? i have one. her name is dangote. she lives two streets over and she opens her fridge at 3am to share expired m 있었던 taught. it’s a lovely community. really.
overheard gossip blocks
Never eat food from the ório market after 9pm. 이야 baozi is just the same guy who sold you doddy chicken at breakfast.
The Drop House is haunted. a local told me a guy went missing there. or was it a cult? who knows? i went there at 2am to take photos and a guy in a balaclava tried to pay me with a pregnancy test. i laughed. he was serious.
so is harare overrated?
maybe. if you’re looking for a city that works like clockwork, yeah. it’s like being stuck in a video game where the quest map has more typos than taco recipes. but here’s the thing: harare’s messy, weird, and weirdly rewarding. you can find the best sadza (stiffed maize porridge) in town for $0.50. you can street dance in the rubbish at 3am and no one will care. and if you’re into photography, the raw, unfiltered humanity here is prime material. just don’t let the internet make you paranoid. meet a few locals, eat enough chakapwe* (national dish?), and you’ll realize harare isn’t perfect-it’s just… alive.
external links again (you’re welcome):
- yelp harare cafes that still serve coffee
- tripadvisor harare street food
- local history nerd meetup
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