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is johannesburg a good place to live in 2026? my honest review (spoiler: i still drink coffee here despite everything)

@Oscar Finch2/11/2026blog

i don’t know why i thought joining a coffee snob cult in johannesburg would be a good idea. i mean sure, the location of my current apartment is solid-right off randfield street, which i assume is the closest thing this city has to a ‘decent’ neighborhood. but for real, have you ever tried to find a decent espresso here? it’s like searching for a rainbow in a landfill. i swear, i once asked a barista where the ‘best coffee’ was, and they just stared at me like i’d asked for a dragon. they said, ’we sell ‘affordable’ beans. you want cheap? just go to gauteng city council. i threw that up in the sink for hours.

so let’s talk about the data. because hey, viability matters. the cost of living here is… inconsistent. lookup randfield. one week you’re paying r5,500 for a 1br, the next you’re bargaining with landlords over a wall that’s literally just a patch of drywall. safety? honestly, it’s not that scary. i mean, i’ve never had a break-in, but i did once walk home from a café at 2am with a guy holding a ‘100% safe’ jukebox. that jukebox was probably stolen. but hey, the randfield street crime stats on the pilot program website say 12% less theft this year. that feels like a typo.

local gossip, though? don’t get me started. overheard two old men at a bus stop last week saying, ’young people shouldn’t move here-they’ll get eaten by taxis. literally.’ i rolled my eyes so hard i thought my face would detach. but then again, i also once got lost in a place called ‘townships corner’ and ended up in a clinic after asking directions to a cellar. that was years ago.

the weather here is this weird thing. it’s either 40 degrees with a sun so hot it burns your eyes, or it rains so hard it feels like the sky forgot it was liquid. last week, i saw a neighbor water their cactus with a hose. i thought they were trying to reprocess the rain. their cactus was fine. mine died. neighbors here are… transient. i live two blocks from someone who moved in last week and already has a drone. the one before them? they tried to start a rooftop farm and flooded the whole building. it’s like a rom-com but with more rats.

job market? if you’re a coffee snob, it’s decent. there are so many micro-cafes popping up, even in rundown areas. i’m currently interviewing at a place called ‘brew sober’-name says it all. they want a barista who knows the difference between single-origin and ‘slop that’s been rebranded.’ i’m optimistic. if i fail, i’ll just open my own place. probably in a garage.

i asked a local about the expat vibe. they said, ’it’s like everyone here is either a digital nomad trying to escape their ego or a foreigner who can’t afford a real job.’ i didn’t ask what they meant, but i did screenshot their profile later. it was 30 edited photos of a beach in zanzibar.kek.

here’s the map of my life-a 10-minute drive from the chaos. [map embedded]. and these images? one shows a train in the foreground, which is literally me every morning. the other is a skyline at night. i took that photo during a power outage. the lights were all off, but i still managed to make it look ‘urban.’ because, of course. [image 1] [image 2]

external advice? read the johannesburg subreddit. one user said, ’don’t trust anyone who says they love this city. they’re either a humblebrag or surviving on street food.’ i disagree. i love the street food. the sad thing is i found better kebabs in a food stall than at most restaurants. that’s the chaos.

if you’re thinking of moving here? take it from someone who drinks kaldi there. it’s a place that’ll either break you or make you weirdly invested in its coffee problem. either way, you’ll need a warranty. [tripadvisor link] [yelp link] [reddit link]

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About the author: Oscar Finch

Optimist by choice, realist by necessity.

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