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kabul after a long day of surviving the weather and trying not to lose my head

@Kai Summers2/5/2026blog

i just woke up and my room is freezing already which is like normal or something. i checked the weather and it’s like… there right now. hope you like that kind of thing. it’s -0.4 and feels like -2.73. which is basically a biological attack on your soul. but hey, at least the city’s dry except for like 102mm of rain in spring. which i have zero plans to experience.

kabul’s high up. like 1800 meters which means your soul is also 1800 meters up. or maybe just me. i don’t know. the mountains are always there. staring down. not nice. they don’t care if you’re alive or not. which is great. i guess. i walked near asmai range once and a goat stared at me. i stared back. we both sucked at eye contact.

the city’s been through a lot. like seriously. greeks. mughals. soviets. taliban. i didn’t know rugby balls were a thing until some kid tossed one past my hostel. someone told me that the old buildings still have bullet holes. i didn’t ask for confirmation. i just didn’t mention it. i don’t trust walls anymore.

so i got this google map open and yeah. it’s 34.5253, 69.1783. which is somewhere in a valley surrounded by mountains. the kalub river is there. but it’s dry most of the year. which is why i packed a bottle of half a liter of water that’s now frozen. genius move. maybe.

if you get bored, jalalabad is a drive away. or kandahar. both are… not fun. mazar-e shari is north. closer to uzbekistan. i don’t care. i’m stuck here. the roads are crap. sometimes you drive for an hour and it’s just… gravel. or a guy waving a flag. or a goat. i don’t know.

i went to bala hisar once. the fortress. it’s old. really old. like 3000 years. maybe. i got lost for 20 minutes. asked a guy directions. he gave me a candy bar. which i ate. then i cried. because i was hungry. and also confused. the bazaars are split by the river. which is mostly dry. there’s a bridge called pul-e khisti. which is probably named after someone who likes kites. maybe. i didn’t ask.

the weather sucks. summer’s hot but not like… fun hot. more like ‘this is why we can’t have nice things’ hot. winters are so cold they make you question life choices. once i walked through a snowstorm and my phone died. which is poetic. i found a tea house. they had this black stuff that tasted like regret. but it warmed me up. which is nice.

someone told me that the city splits into zones. five of them. with districts and stuff. i don’t know. i just saw a sign that said ‘mawlawi abdul rashid’ and assumed that was the mayor. turns out it was. and he’s probably got more stress than me. which is fair.

the culture? it’s a mashup. trade routes brought everything. so there’s pashtun stuff. tajik. persian. whatever. but now it’s all just afghanistan. which is fine. i don’t know what i expected. i expected more donuts. but there’s tea. and kilos. and maybe some weird bread. i asked about food and people just shrug and say ‘we eat what works’. which is all i need to know.

there are polls. like large ones. built by… i don’t know who. some guy with big hands. i saw one near the zoo. it had a lion. which is probably dead. or eaten. who knows. the zoo itself is small. but there’s a park next to it. and a river. which is nice. i fed birds. they stared at me. i stared back. we didn’t interact. mutual respect.

the mountains give views. but also danger. earthquakes are common. i didn’t feel one but i heard about one last month. a 6.8 or something. which is why buildings are… not great. i saw a building that leaned. like permanently. i didn’t ask. i just took a photo. which looked cool.

night time is weird. it’s dark. and cold. and sometimes people gather in parks. but it’s not like… lively. more like ‘we’re all just here because we have to be’. which is fine. i got a picture of a building with towers. it looked like a prison. or a school. i don’t know. but it was tall. and white. and had a dome. gold maybe? or just my imagination.

i packed way too many layers. now i have 7 sweaters. one of which is missing a sleeve. probably from a goat. or a bad decision. i don’t know. the point is i look like a human octopus. which is neither cute nor efficient.

the people? they’re resilient. or at least i heard that. i asked a guy about the history and he just said ‘it’s complicated’. which is true. but also not helpful. i wanted a list. of invaders. or emperors. or something. but he just smiled and handed me a candy bar again.

so yeah. kabul. it’s a place. with a bird’s eye view of turmoil. and mountains. and weird weather. and people who just… are. i don’t have much else to say. except that the air smells like dust and possibility. or maybe just dust.

i’m leaving tomorrow. probably. if the car doesn’t break down. or the road doesn’t disappear. which has happened before. either way. this place is what it is. and i’m happy to call it home for a bit. even if home is just a motel with a view of a river that’s mostly sand.

p.s. someone told me that the donnai river used to flow here. now it’s called a stream. or a memory. i choose to believe it’s a stream. so i can water my hypothetical plants. which i don’t have.

also. the minnows. or whatever they are. they live in the zoo. i didn’t see them. i was too busy checking the weather. which is -0.4. and freezing. and miserable. but also… alive. maybe.

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About the author: Kai Summers

Believes that every problem has a solution (or at least a workaround).

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