Kolkata: Sticky Mangoes and a Whole Lotta Chaos (Seriously)

okay, so. kolkata. where do i even begin? i’m elara, by the way, and i’m a botanist. usually, i’m knee-deep in ferns and moss, not dodging scooters and trying to figure out how to order chai without accidentally insulting someone. but hey, fieldwork is fieldwork, right? i’m here ostensibly to study some rare orchids, but honestly, i’m mostly just absorbing the… everything.

I just checked and the air feels like a warm hug that’s slightly too clingy. eighteen point three seven degrees, they say. Humidity’s a cheeky thirty-six percent. Not exactly ideal orchid-hunting weather, but you adapt. You have to.

My first few days were… a lot. The sheer density of people, the constant honking, the smells (oh, the smells! a glorious, overwhelming mix of spices, exhaust fumes, and something vaguely floral that i’m still trying to identify). It’s not for the faint of heart. I spent a good hour just staring at a traffic intersection, completely mesmerized. It’s like a beautifully choreographed, utterly chaotic dance.

I’m staying in a little guesthouse in *Beliaghata. It’s… rustic. Let’s just say the plumbing has a personality of its own. But the owner, Mrs. Chatterjee, is an absolute gem. She keeps feeding me rasgulla and telling me stories about her grandchildren. If you’re looking for something a little quieter, check out some options on TripAdvisor - https://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotels-g298394-Kolkata_West_Bengal-Hotels.html.

Speaking of locals, overheard a fascinating bit of gossip at a tea stall yesterday. Apparently, the best mishti doi (sweet yogurt) in the entire city is hidden away in a tiny shop near Shyambazar. “Don’t tell anyone I told you,” the guy mumbled, wiping his mustache. “It’s a secret.” I’m definitely investigating. Yelp has some decent reviews, too - https://www.yelp.com/search?find_desc=mishti+doi&find_loc=Kolkata%2C+West+Bengal.

I’ve been wandering around College Street, the book market. It’s insane. Piles and piles of books everywhere. I bought a first edition of something I can’t even read (Bengali, obviously) just because it smelled like old paper and adventure. If you're into that sort of thing, check out some local book forums - https://www.indiabookforum.com/.

Someone told me that the street food is amazing, but you have to be very careful about where you eat. Apparently, there’s a particular vendor near Howrah Bridge who makes the best jhal muri (puffed rice snack) but also gives everyone a stomach ache. Drunk advice, probably, but still… noted.

If you get bored of the city, Murshidabad and Burdwan are just a short drive away. They’re both steeped in history, apparently. I’m trying to carve out some time to visit.

Pro-Tips (because apparently I’m a pro now):

*Bargain hard. Seriously. Everything is negotiable.
*Learn a few basic Bengali phrases. Even just “hello” and “thank you” go a long way.
*Carry hand sanitizer. Everywhere.
*Be prepared to be stared at. You’re a foreigner. It’s going to happen.
*Embrace the chaos. It’s part of the charm.

I’m off to find that secret mishti doi* now. Wish me luck (and a strong stomach).