kollam, kerala: a student's humid hellscape (with bonus cashews)

so i landed in kollam with two shirts, one pair of shorts, and a desperate hope that my rupees would stretch. the moment i stepped out of the bus, the heat hit me like a sack of wet rice - i just checked and it's 27.72 outside but feels like 29.9, humidity at 68 percent, which is basically living in a sauna that someone forgot to turn off.

that little window above? that's the view from my 200-rupee room overlooking what i think is a canal but might just be a giant puddle.

i've been here three days and i already have opinions. first, the *backwaters are everything they say, but everyone focuses on alleppey. kollam's version is grittier, with actual people living on boats, not just tourists taking selfies. i rented a shikara for 300 bucks and the guy told me his family has been on that boat since before my grandpa was born.

see that? that's my life now. except the boat didn't have a toilet, which was a...learning experience.

food-wise, i'm surviving on cashew curry and appam from this street stall near the bus depot. someone told me that the best parotta is at hotel saravana bhavan, but i heard from a local that it's overpriced and the real gem is a guy named babu who sets up at 5am near the fish market. i yelped it and found mixed reviews - check it out here if you don't believe me. also, for cheap eats, this blog post saved my life budget eating in kerala.

when you need a break, trivandrum's sprawl is a cheap bus ticket away, but brace for a road trip from hell. i tried to go to poovar and ended up in a village where the only cafe served banana chips and black coffee. not complaining, though.

the weather here is no joke. i thought i knew heat, but kollam laughed in my face. my shirt is permanently stuck to my back, and i've developed a new respect for anyone who works outside. i saw these construction workers taking a break under a tree, their shirts dark with sweat, and i felt like a whiner. the pressure is 1009 hpa, which means nothing to me until my ears pop on the bus.

reviews as gossip: i overheard two tourists at a chai stall arguing about whether the kollam beach is worth it. one said it's just sand and trash, the other swore by the sunset. i went at dusk and it was magical, empty except for fishermen mending nets. but someone warned me about the currents - i heard that three tourists got caught last month. so i stuck to the shore like a leech.

accommodation: i'm in a homestay that costs 500 a night. the host, aunty, cooks killer fish curry and lectures me about drinking tap water. i found it on tripadvisor here and the reviews were spot-on. except one guy complained about the wifi - dude, you're in kollam, what did you expect?

transport: buses are cheap but packed. i had to sit on someone's lap once. true story. auto-rickshaws haggle hard; always agree on fare before you get in. i learned that the hard way when the guy tried to charge me 200 for a 2-km ride. i showed him my student id and he laughed, then took 100. still a rip-off.

numbers: my bus ticket had 1278985 printed on it, which i now think is a loco code or something. and my phone's imei ends with 1356293762, coincidence? probably. but in a city where every second person offers to sell you "original ayurvedic oil," you start questioning everything.

oh, and i met this artist who paints on fishing boats. he said the government pays artists to decorate them, but the money never comes. i bought a tiny painting for 100 rupees. now it's hanging in my room, next to the ceiling fan that sounds like a dying mosquito.

that wooden house on stilts? i wish i stayed there, but 2000 a night? not on my budget.

if you come here, bring cash, patience, and a strong stomach for spice. the local markets* are a riot of colors and smells - i saw a guy selling what he called "miracle seeds" that cure everything. i didn't buy, but the banter was free.

more boats, because why not?

last thing: the humidity. it's 68 percent, which means my camera lens fogged up every time i took it out. i'm an idiot for bringing a fancy camera, but i'm a student on a "shoot cheap" mission. for more info, check out kerala tourism's site.

so yeah, kollam. it's messy, hot, and surprisingly beautiful if you look past the sweat in your eyes. i'm heading to the bus station soon to catch a train to somewhere else. but i'll miss the sound of the call to prayer mixing with bollywood songs from a neighboring tea shop.