kuala lumpur: indie film scout's humid heatwave journal
"i just checked the thermometer-26.68c, feels like stepping into a humid hug. the city breathed steam around me, neon signs flickering through sweat-stained lids. someone told me the national museum had vending machines for durian-flavored earl gray, but i barked up that tree hard enough to attract the kind of guides who wear sarongs as capes.
today’s mission: hunt film locations that scream cinematic grit. first stop, the old white water rafting station near batu caves. the walls still ooze with the structural integrity of a 1987 bollywood action scene. i overheard two guys argue about whether the ghost of judy garland watched over this place. not sure if they were joking, but their requiem playlist had me equal parts fascinated and scared.
yeah, i know, i dragged my vintage 16mm camera through merrimon avenue like it owed me money. third bike repair of the week. some kid revved his motorbike right into my reflector blindspot, and i ended up navigating through a sea of construction steel like it was a malay-language film quiz show. fatefully, i bumped into a retired stuntman selling his life’s work in polaroids-people frozen mid-backflip in the heat haze. *butterworth street was the real MVP though, where the night market’s glow turned the sky into a 3D printer anyone could binge-sculpt.
according to local lore (read: drunk advice from a cendol vendor), this mural of a crying mermaid is actually a cursed prop from a 1970s horror flick. she’s been sobbing over the same tiled staircase since the director allegedly fed her synthetic sadness tablets. ponder. the weather vaulted to 29.27c at high noon, so everyone looked like they’d auditioned for a sauna-themed arthouse film. seriously, i saw a man in a tailored suit wipe a rice bowl clean off his cheek with a newspaper.
pro-tips for aspiring film scouts: avoid eye contact with the street artists who think the central market’s banana leaf stacks are mise-en-scène. they’ll accidentally ruin your shot with their spray-painted motivational quotes. instead, hit the steps of the national monument at dawn-it’s like filming a silent movie where the props rearrange themselves every 10 seconds.
and if you’re desperate for non-human dialogue, the birdwatcher in kilgetty park will rent you a pair of binoculars to watch mynas debating politics over crumbs. i paid extra for the 1010-millibar gossip session.
i’ll be honest, the only thing drier than yesterday’s chili crab wrap was my sense of direction. if you get bored, genting highland* are just a short drive away-though don’t check TripAdvisor reviews after 1am. someone told me the resort’s karaoke rooms double as séance zones, which is why i’m not booking that suite. yelp says otherwise, but i don’t trust a star rating from a guy who cried while eating maggi noodles.
final note: the pumpkin-shaped sake canister in the malayan museum gift shop? it’s allegedly haunted. stick a camera in frame 3, just in case.
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