kuta Chronicles: When the Wi-Fi Dies and You Still Work on Your Blog

woke up to the sound of rain on tin roofs and a wi-fi signal that’s as stable as a drunk lemur. i just checked and it’s… there right now, hope you like that kind of thing. it’s 16 degrees and sticky, like a sudden bumblebee decided to crawl into your jacket. humidity here? 91%. feels like a sauna stuffed with coconuts.\

i’m a digital nomad, which is my way of saying i live for this. worked from a vibrating table at a beachside café called the coffee blob until their espresso machine rebel-plagued me into joining a yoga class. turned out to be good. the instructor kept quoting some random indonesian proverb about water and resilience. i half-listened, half-watched my latte cool into a pond.\

neighbors here? if you get bored, bali is just a short drive away. seriously. i saw a guy on a skateboard doing wheelies past my laptop spot. he didn’t notice me. they’re all about their own business, which is weirdly peaceful. unless you’re in kuta, where the noise level matches a dumpster fire.\

someone told me that the hostel on main street has… i don’t know, something about the ceiling collapsing during monsoon season. maybe. i haven’t checked. i heard that from a drunk guy at a karaoke bar. probably not true.\

acrylic vibes here. i snapped a few photos of this weird bridge thing that’s clearly older than my ex. not sure what it’s called but the filter i used made it look like a glitch in reality.\

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my laptop got wet twice. once when a stray umbrella hit it. once when i rinsed it in a rice sack to dry. weirdly, the rice worked. sadly, my notes about that are now illegible.\

if you’re here for work, check out the co-working spot called KL Code. i heard it’s cheaper than my usual spot in singapore. sadly, it was closed for renovations. another bummer.\

somebody on yelp said the street food stall near the timerka market sells the best balinese fried chicken. i haven’t tried it yet. probably because i’m too busy pretending i’m not hungry while typing.\

images of destruction:

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honestly, kuta is a town that hates polite small talk. everyone’s either grumbling in jamu or running from something. i almost got into a argument with a street vendor over the price of grilled plantains. turned out he was just mad because my notebook smelled like coconut oil.\

did i mention the weather? i checked again. still 16 degrees. no rain. no sun. just that one weird moment where it feels like time is slowing down. if you’re going to visit, pack an umbrella. or a raincoat. or both.\

ps: if you leave a review on tripadvisor, at least say something original. i read like 10 today that were just ‘good place’ or ‘bad place’. ugh. give me a story. a rumor. something to trip over.\

- also, anyone else notice the palm trees are 90% bent?ask a local. they’ll say it’s normal. i believe them. maybe.