Kyoto Chaos: Rain, Ramen, and Really Weird Vibes

okay, so like, i’m pretty sure i’m running on fumes and lukewarm matcha. kyoto. it’s… a lot. i just checked and it's...there right now, hope you like that kind of thing. the humidity is clinging to everything, you know? like a really insistent friend who won’t let go. 99% humidity, seriously. the pressure’s at 1020, which is… unsettling. i’m not gonna lie, i’m already craving a shower that’s longer than a *kimono fitting.

I landed yesterday and immediately went for ramen. obviously. it was… intense. the broth was this deep, almost bruised purple, and they served it with pickled ginger that tasted like regret. someone told me that the best ramen is found down a tiny alleyway near Gion, but also, like, everyone says that. it’s a universal truth, right?

I’ve been wandering around, mostly just getting lost. i downloaded a map, but it’s actively trying to mislead me. it’s like the map is judging my life choices. i stumbled upon this incredible little shop selling vintage taiko drums - seriously, the craftsmanship was insane. i almost bought one, but my bank account screamed in protest.

Speaking of locals, the neighbors are… interesting. if you get bored, Osaka is just a short drive away, apparently. and there’s this old woman who sits outside her house every morning selling hand-painted fans. she just stares at you, like she’s trying to decipher your soul. i think she knows i’m a mess. i overheard gossip at a tiny izakaya that the geishas are starting to use drones to deliver sake. drones! it’s wild.

I’m trying to document everything, but my camera is constantly overheating. it’s a struggle. i’m pretty sure i’ve taken about a million pictures of temples, but honestly, they all look the same after a while. it’s like a beige-colored blur of ancient wood and moss.

Here’s the gear list, because someone always asks:

Camera (obviously) - and a backup battery. seriously, a backup battery.
Notebook and pen (for capturing fleeting thoughts before they vanish).
Reusable water bottle (hydration is key, even if you’re drowning in humidity).
Comfortable shoes (you’ll be doing a lot of walking).
Pocket wifi (because signal is a myth).
A healthy dose of cynicism.

I heard that the Nishiki Market is a must-see, but also, like, it’s packed with tourists. i’m leaning towards avoiding it. i’m more into the weird, the unexpected. i found a tiny stall selling pickled octopus eyeballs - i didn’t try them, but the vendor looked very proud of them.

I’m staying in this tiny guesthouse near Higashiyama. it’s…rustic. let’s go with rustic. the walls are paper-thin, and i can hear everything. last night, someone was practicing the shamisen at 3 am. it was…an experience.

I’m seriously considering just buying a rickshaw and letting someone else navigate. or maybe just sleeping in a temple. honestly, at this point, i wouldn’t even be surprised.

I found this amazing little cafe that specializes in matcha lattes. it’s called ‘Zen & Caffeine’ - very on the nose. i’m pretty sure the barista is a robot.

I’m going to try and find a decent onsen later. hopefully, it’s not as crowded as the ramen shops. i need to cleanse my soul, or at least my skin.

Check out TripAdvisor for some more recommendations: https://www.tripadvisor.com/

And Yelp for the best hidden gems: https://www.yelp.com/

I heard that the bamboo forest is beautiful, but also, like, it’s always* beautiful. it’s a cliché for a reason.

Seriously, if you're looking for something off the beaten path, check out this local forum: https://www.kyotoguide.com/

Okay, I’m going to go find some more ramen. wish me luck.

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