Lagos: Where Naira Burns and AC Units Weep

so i'm back in lagos after surviving that bus ride from benin city - my legs still feel like overcooked noodles. if you're checking the weather, it's currently 25.59°C here in lagos, feels like 26.5°C. hope you're into that sticky-skin kind of vibe.

this city hits different when you're on *student loan rations. last night i shared a plate of suya with three strangers at balogun market - turns out we were all hustling for exam fees. the traffic gridlock near third mainland bridge? that's not congestion, that's nigerians manifesting patience. honestly, if you run out of things to do in lagos, badagry and ibadan are a quick trip away.

someone told me that lekki phase one has a rooftop club where you can get three glasses of palm wine for ₦2000 if you pretend to be a film producer. also heard the jollof rice at tantalizers has mysterious herbs - or maybe it's just the generator fumes.

my hostel bathroom flooded again. turns out the landlord installed 10-year-old pipes because 'african plumbing is spiritual.' now i shower with flip-flops and a prayer. found ₦50 on the street outside shoprite - bought four gala sausages and felt like a baller.

drunk advice from a guy named chioma at freedom park: 'if you see a danfo driver offering free rides, run. unless you're into involuntary storytelling about his ex-wife.'

the fried yam at mama put near uniport gate? heavenly. ₦500 worth of carbs that makes you question why anyone eats salad. tried bargaining at computer village - almost got scammed into buying a 'refurbished' laptop that probably runs on prayers.

pro tip: never wear white clothes during rainy season unless you enjoy walking around looking like a lost ghost*. also, if you see a street vendor selling 'cold' water, verify it's not just lukewarm tap water with extra attitude.

for more budget hacks, check out lagos travel tips or lagos eats reviews. and if you're brave enough to try the street food, this nairaland thread might save your stomach.

see you next month when i write about how i survived eating only indomie for two weeks. or maybe when i finally visit the beach. maybe.