lima schools: a touring drummer's hacked-together guide (no, really)

so i’m in lima for a sec between a cruise ship gig and some festival down south. standard drifter life. and of course, my tour manager-who’s secretly a total education snob-starts grilling me about ‘future-proofing’ his kid’s schooling. i haven’t slept in 36 hours, so naturally i started digging. not like a consultant. like a drummer who’s survived too many bad soundchecks. here’s the raw, unfiltered mess i found.

first, let’s get the city out of the way. this place is a coastal desert that’s perpetually damp. it’s like someone left a wet blanket over the pacific. you’ll see the sun maybe three times a month, and it’s called verano because everyone’s delusional. but hey, it beats tucson in july. and you’re a short, terrifying flight from cusco’s sun or the atacama’s bones-dry weirdness. the neighbors are basically an entire mountain range and a desert. cool.

now, the big question everyone pretends isn’t about money: cost of living. if you’re sending a kid to a private school here, you’re not budgeting, you’re confessing. i ran some numbers talking to a bassist who’s been here a decade. a ‘ decent’ apartment in miraflores or san isidro? 2000-3500 soles a month minimum for something that wouldn’t pass a nyc inspection. that’s, like, 500-900 bucks usd. but the school? ugh. we’re talking 4000-9000 soles a month. that’s a mortgage on a house in ohio. public schools? the shiny international ones are even worse-20k+ usd a year. i felt my calluses harden just hearing it.

the security thing is the elephant in the room that everyone’s texting about behind their back. it’s not ‘dangerous’ if you’re rich and white and stay in the bubble. but if you’re actually from here and commuting? different story. a local guitar tech told me, 'don’t even think about the public schools in callao unless you want your kid to learn spanish slang you can’t un-learn and see things you shouldn't.' it’s the kind of drunk advice that sticks. the bubble is real. san isidro, miraflores, la molina-you’re in the gilded cage. step outside for a public school? you’re rolling dice you can’t see.

i asked a drummer friend whose kid goes to *markham college. he didn’t say 'excellent curriculum.' he said, 'it’s a loan you take out with your soul. but the other parents are investors and diplomats, so the networking… it’s grotesque but effective.' that’s the vibe. then there’s franco peruano-apparently the french bureaucracy is baked into the school’s bones. strict, old-school, uniforms that cost more than my first drum kit. for the ‘international’ but not too international crowd. saco oliveros is the name i keep hearing from middle-class folks who mortgaged their future. it’s the compromise that feels like a sacrifice. and for the actually rich, newton or st. george’s. they’re basically prep schools for ivy league futures, with tuition that could fund a small orchestra.

> "my cousin’s kid got kicked out of a private school for having a skateboard. in barranco. you can’t make this stuff up. it’s not about learning, it’s about signaling." - overheard at a vegan cafe in barranco, from a woman who looked like she’d never seen a public bus.

now, the public system. i’m not going to pretend it’s some hidden gem. it’s chronically underfunded, massive, and a total lottery based on your zip code. but there are ‘special’ ones. javier aldea in san isidro? it’s a public school that thinks it’s private. parents have to volunteer 20 hours a month, the pta is basically a board meeting. it’s the exception that proves the rule. elsewhere, you’re relying on teachers who are heroes getting paid in… hope, mostly. the real ‘best’ public school might be the one where the principal is a actual wizard who runs a secret scholarship fund. they exist. good luck finding them.

so, my hacked-together opinion? if you have the kind of money where school tuition is a ‘line item’ and not a ‘life decision,’ you’re looking at the top 5 internationals and praying for a scholarship. if you’re a normal person, you’re hunting for that one public school in a zona residencial that hasn’t been completely gutted, and you’re volunteering your ass off. and if you’re like me, you’re just wondering if the local music school will take your kid in exchange for free percussion lessons. because in lima, sometimes the rhythm is the only real education.

science part:* yeah, i googled while hungover. check the peruvian ministry of education rankings (good luck with that spanish), or the expat forum on internations for the parental gossip that’s 10x more useful. and obviously, r/lima is where you hear about the school that just got new computers or the teacher who got arrested. real-time data.

i’m gonna go pass out on a tour bus somewhere. schools are a whole other kind of tour, and i’m not cut out for it.

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