Lima's School Scene: A Disillusioned Consultant's Guide
so yeah, after 15 years telling companies to 'synergize', i'm finally free to rant about lima's schools. the humidity today's got this weird, clingy quality - like you're being hugged by a wet blanket. and neighbors? callao's just a short drive away, but feels like another planet entirely.
public schools? pfft. most have underfunded labs and teachers moonlighting as uber drivers. the 'good' ones like instituto peruano-norteamericano are lottery nightmares. heard some drunk advice last friday: 'if your kid gets into colegio roosevelt, buy lottery tickets immediately.' true story.
private schools? it's a wild west of tuition hikes. colegio markham charges $18k/year for uniforms that scream 'private yacht'. but here's the real tea:
> 'at san andrés, they've got a pool but the admin are snakes. literal. my neighbor's kid got expelled for wearing socks that weren't navy-blue-approved.'
> 'leonardo davinci? beautiful campus but prepare for PTAs that could make wall street weep. one meeting they debated whether organic quinoa should be mandatory for snacks.'
safety? petty theft's annoying but violent crime's mostly in certain districts. rent downtown's around $600 for a decent 2br, but job market's brutal unless you're in mining or tech. check r/Lima for horror stories about school buses.
*the gear list if you're a parent:
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- a good umbrella (rain's sneaky here)
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- bribery snacks for teacher meetings
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- vpn access for the inevitable 'homework portal meltdowns'
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cost of living? numbeo says rent's 70% cheaper than nyc, but school fees'll bankrupt you. colegio trilce's got decent IB programs but their 'holistic education' means your kid learns yoga but can't make change.
pro-tips from someone who's seen too many powerpoint slides:
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- avoid schools near markets unless you want your kid smelling like fish for years
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- bilingual schools mean 'bilingual' only for english classes. the rest is spanish chaos
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- never trust a school brochure showing kids smiling. lima humidity melts that stuff instantly
overheard at a bar: 'don't pick colegionionionion. wait, colegio san agustin? whatever. their 'leadership program' is just teaching kids to steal lunch money discreetly.'
real talk? check minedu for data, but most parents just yell at each other in facebook lima school groups.
bottom line*: pick based on whether you want your kid fluent in english or dodging traffic. both are valuable skills. just maybe not at the same time.
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