Local Etiquette and Traditions: How Not to Offend People in Xi’an (According to a Disillusioned Consultant)

okay, so xi’an. it’s…a lot. i’m currently staring out the window of this slightly-too-expensive hotel room, and it’s drizzling. not a cute drizzle, like a romantic movie drizzle. it’s the kind of drizzle that feels like the sky is just perpetually disappointed in your life choices. which, honestly, fair. it’s about a 3-hour high-speed train ride from Beijing, which feels like escaping one level of corporate hell for another, slightly more ancient one.

look, i was sent here by my firm to “assess market opportunities.” which translates to “find ways to sell more useless software to people who probably don’t need it.” i’m already planning my exit strategy, but figured i’d document the cultural landmines i’ve stumbled over so far. because honestly, the handshakes alone are a minefield.

first off, forget everything you think you know about personal space. it’s…flexible. people will get close. they’ll ask questions. they’ll offer you snacks. accept the snacks. always accept the snacks. refusing food is a major faux pas. i learned that the hard way after accidentally insulting a woman’s cooking (i thought i was politely declining, turns out i implied it looked like something my cat coughed up).

and the *tea. oh god, the tea. it’s not just a beverage, it’s a ritual. you will be offered tea. you will drink it. you will use both hands to accept the cup. and for the love of all that is holy, don’t just chug it. sip. appreciate. make small talk. i overheard a conversation at a local tea house (more on that later) where a guy basically got lectured for finishing his tea too quickly. apparently, it implies you’re eager to leave.

let’s talk money. because that’s what i actually care about. rent in the city center is…surprisingly reasonable. i’m talking around 3000-6000 RMB a month for a decent apartment. but salaries? that’s where things get tricky. as a foreigner with “skills,” you can command a premium, but it’s still lower than what you’d get in a tier-1 city like Beijing or Shanghai. i’ve been lurking on the Xi’an Expats subreddit and the consensus seems to be that you need to hustle. a lot.

Business cards are huge. like, ridiculously huge. have them printed in both English and Chinese. present them with both hands. and don’t be surprised if someone immediately puts yours in a drawer and doesn’t look at it. it’s not rude, it’s just…a thing. it’s a power move, apparently. i’m still trying to decipher the nuances of xi’an power dynamics.


Overheard Gossip #1: “That new bar on South Street? Total tourist trap. Overpriced drinks, terrible service. Stick to the hole-in-the-wall places near the Muslim Quarter.” (Source: a very opinionated taxi driver)

and speaking of the Muslim Quarter, go. seriously. the food is incredible. but be prepared for crowds. and bargaining is expected. don’t be afraid to haggle, but do it respectfully. i tried to lowball a vendor on a jade bracelet and he gave me a look that could curdle milk. i paid full price.

Safety: it’s generally pretty safe, but pickpocketing can happen, especially in crowded areas. keep an eye on your belongings. i read a review on TripAdvisor warning about scams targeting tourists near the Terracotta Army.

Local Tea House Recommendation (Drunk Advice): “Go to the Shaanxi Tea House. It’s a bit hidden, but the atmosphere is amazing. And the tea…oh, the tea. Just don’t talk about your stock options.” (Source: me, after one too many cups of pu-erh)

Overheard Gossip #2: “The traffic here is insane. Don’t even think about renting a car.” (Source: my hotel concierge, who looked genuinely terrified)

and finally, learn a few basic Mandarin phrases. “Ni hao” (hello), “Xie xie” (thank you), and “Duoshao qian?” (how much?) will get you a long way. even if your pronunciation is terrible. people appreciate the effort. i’ve been using Pleco to try and improve my Mandarin, but honestly, it’s a losing battle.

Overheard Gossip #3:* “Don’t criticize Chairman Mao. Just…don’t.” (Source: a very serious-looking man at a noodle shop)

so yeah, xi’an. it’s complicated. it’s chaotic. it’s probably going to give me an ulcer. but it’s also…kind of fascinating. just remember the snacks, the tea, and the power dynamics. and for the love of god, don’t insult anyone’s cooking.

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