Manila: Where My Bank Account Cries and My Feet Sweat

okay so manila happened. not like a vacation happened, more like 'i woke up in a tropical monsoon nightmare' happened. *traffic here is basically a contact sport with tricycles as rugby balls. my budget student veins are still popping just thinking about jeepney fares.

i just checked and it's...basically breathing soup outside right now, hope you're into that humid, sticky kind of thing. feels like your shirt's glued to your back by lunchtime. if you get restless, quezon city's college parties are just one chaotic bus ride away when the metro's not gridlocked.

"someone told me that the street food in binondo is a legit religious experience, but only if you've got guts made of asbestos. also, avoid the mango smoothies near that one church unless you wanna spend your vacation praying to porcelain gods."

survival checklist for broke idiots like me:
₱50 coins - jeepney drivers don't do change
umbrella - monsoons arrive like your ex's texts
hand sanitizer - public toilets are abstract art
flip-flops - manila's sidewalks are lava fields
expired student ID - sometimes works for discounts

pro-tip: the national museum is free on sundays. security guards will look at you like you're stealing the air, but it's worth it. check out the luneta park reviews on TripAdvisor if you wanna see how other budget fools got mugged by pigeons.

i heard that this one carinderia in paco serves adobo that'll make you forget your student loans. but it's hidden in this alley where stray dogs gamble. Yelp says it's 'authentic' which just means 'no tourists got food poisoning yet'.

*real talk from a local drunk:* "skip the tourist traps. go to this basketball court in tondo at midnight. old men bet on cockfights and the smell is... educational." yeah, pass. Pinoy travel forums have way dirtier secrets if you're brave.

manila doesn't care about your budget. it'll eat your ₱100 bills and spit out sunburn. but hey, the halo-halo is worth it. probably.