Meknès: 10 Things That'll Make You Go 'WTF?'

so, you think you've got meknès figured out? that dusty medina, the occasional donkey jam, maybe some olives? nah, buddy. this city's got secrets that'd make a soap opera blush. i've been wandering these alleyways for three weeks, camera in hand, and lemme tell ya-nothing's what it seems. right now, the weather’s doing that thing where it burns your scalp at noon and then slaps you with cold fog by 3pm. good thing fez is just a 90-minute bus ride if you need to escape the atmospheric whiplash.

*the heri es souani: where history takes a dump

first shocker? those massive granaries next to the royal stables? they’re not just old sheds. sultan moulay ismaïl used to store grain here enough to feed his army for a year. but get this-locals swear you can still hear the ghosts of prisoners who died building it. seriously. some guy in a tea stall told me he hears chains dragging at midnight. [drunk advice: bring earplugs if you’re staying near the heri, or you’ll end up like me-jumping at every stray cat sound]

also, rent here? surprisingly decent. a decent one-bedroom in the new city runs about 250-300€ a month. but jobs? unless you’re fluent in darija and have connections in tourism, good luck. most foreigners do the freelance hustle or teach english. safety-wise? mostly chill, just watch your phone in the souk. last week some guy got his wallet lifted while he was arguing over fig prices. classic.

souk el had: smells like victory and regret

this market ain’t just spices and knockoff bags. i stumbled upon a guy selling jars labeled ‘rain water collected during thunderstorms.’ charged 50 dirhms a pop. people actually bought it. then there’s the ‘antiques’ section where everything’s fake but the sellers will swear their grandma used that 1970s plastic lamp. [overheard rumor: if you haggle hard enough, they’ll throw in a ‘magic’ olive that supposedly cures hangovers. spoiler: it doesn’t]

oh, and the food? tanjia is king-slow-cooked lamb in a clay pot buried in embers. but the real secret? this tiny hole-in-the-wall near the bab el mansour gate makes a goat brain sandwich that’ll either change your life or ruin it. no in-between. tripadvisor’s got some decent listings for it, but honestly? just follow the locals who look like they’ve seen some shit. yelp link: top meknès eats

bab mansour gate*: morocco’s biggest flex

this ain’t just a gate-it’s a monument to overcompensation. built by moulay ismaïl to show off, it’s got zellige tiles so intricate they’ll make your eyes bleed. but here’s the kicker: locals call it ‘the gateway to embarrassment’ because it’s so gaudy. [something a local warned me about: if you take photos with the ‘peace sign’ near the gate, guards will yell at you. something about ‘disrespecting sultan ismaïl’s vibe.’]

job market’s tough unless you’re in agriculture or tech. the medina’s UNESCO-listed, but funding for restoration is spotty. and if you’re thinking of moving here? reddit’s r/meknes has threads about visas, but mostly it’s people complaining about stray cats. [local sub tip: check the ‘housing’ section-sometimes expats leave furniture for free when they bail]

so yeah, meknès. it’s got roman ruins, imperial stables that smell like ancient pee, and a market where you can buy ‘authentic’ berber amulets made in china. but honestly? that’s its charm. it’s messy, it’s stubborn, and it’ll make you question everything. just like my bank account after three weeks here.