Montevideo Madness: Sweat, Samba, and Seriously Strange Vibes
okay, so i’m pretty sure i’m running on fumes and lukewarm mate. i landed in montevideo yesterday, and honestly, it’s… a thing. 3578599 and 1312460524 - don’t ask, i just saw them on a peeling bus stop sign. it felt important. the air’s thick, like a humid blanket, 28.95 degrees, feels like 30.65, temp min 28.95, temp max 28.95, pressure 1014, humidity 58, sea level 1014, grnd level 1009. yeah, that’s the weather. i just checked and it's...there right now, hope you like that kind of thing.
first off, the streets. they’re all cobblestones, which is great for my ankles, not so great for my vintage sneakers. i’m talking serious blisters. i swear i saw a guy selling empanadas out of a dented ice cream truck. it was… memorable. i’m trying to capture the whole chaotic energy, but my camera’s acting up. it keeps focusing on pigeons. seriously, everywhere pigeons.
found a little cafe near the *Rambla, the ridiculously long promenade. it’s basically a concrete river flowing through the city. someone told me that the best chivitos (massive sandwiches) are at ‘El Palomar’ - i’m trusting them, i’m starving. i overheard a group of older men arguing about football, completely animated, gesturing wildly. it was… intense. i think they were debating whether or not the goalkeeper was actually a spy for Argentina. you know, the usual.
spent the afternoon wandering around the Ciudad Vieja (old city). it’s a maze of narrow streets, crumbling buildings, and tiny shops selling everything from hand-painted ceramics to questionable leather goods. i almost bought a poncho made entirely of alpaca wool. almost. i’m pretty sure it would have taken up half my luggage. i found this amazing little record store - ‘Discos del Sol’ - they had a whole section dedicated to tango. i bought a scratched-up vinyl of Astor Piazzolla. it’s… perfect.
seriously, the people here are… something else. they’re loud, they’re passionate, and they’re not afraid to stare. i tried to take a photo of a street performer playing the accordion, and he just glared at me. i think i offended him. i heard that the best way to blend in is to just accept that you’re an outsider and embrace the chaos. which, honestly, is easier said than done when you’re battling blisters and trying to decipher the local slang.
if you get bored, Punta del Este is just a short drive away. it’s like, the Monte’s glamorous, beachy cousin. all pastel buildings and fancy restaurants. i’m not really into that scene, but i might check it out if i’m feeling particularly adventurous (or desperate for a decent cocktail).
Pro-Tip: Learn a few basic Spanish phrases. it’ll go a long way. and wear comfortable shoes. seriously, comfortable* shoes. also, don’t trust anyone who offers you a ‘miracle cure’ for your blisters. it’s probably just mud and regret.
check out TripAdvisor for some decent restaurant recommendations: https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurants-g298481-Montevideo_Department_Durazno_Oriental_Uruguay.html and Yelp for local haunts: https://www.yelp.com/map?1=Montevideo%2C+Uruguay&2=Uruguay&cid=28261663_36377771
and if you're looking for some local community boards, this one seems pretty active: https://www.facebook.com/groups/MontevideoUruguay/
okay, i need to go find some more mate and maybe a new pair of socks. this city is exhausting, but in a strangely compelling way. i’m starting to think those pigeons are judging me.