montevideo: where my laptop batteries die and i still find wifi

i just rolled into montevideo with a backpack full of regrets and a charger that's clearly judging me. the weather here? 16.97 degrees celsius. that's like 'okay, too cold for existential dread but not so cold you can't cry into your lukewarm cereal.' i just checked and it's...there right now, hope you like that kind of thing.

walking here is like stepping into a meme. one minute you're dodging toddlers selling handmade bracelets on the street, next you're staring at a mural of a guy in a chicken suit complaining about capitalism. someone told me that the guy in the chicken suit is a real person who lives 3 blocks away. i didn't believe them until i saw his chicken hat again last night. maybe he's part of a cult. idk.

if you get bored, buenos aires is just a short drive away. but honestly, why would you? montevideo has this vibe where nothing makes sense and that's the point. there's a local market where the vendors speak in what sounds like a mix of spanish and angsty yelp reviews. i bought a lemon for 50 cents and it tasted like regret. was it a scam? maybe. but i needed a story.

i heard that the beach club by the port is overpriced and the waves are bad. but how do i know? some drunk guy in a bikini told me that at a bar. now every time i pass that beach club, i pretend i'm not thinking about it. maybe i should just take him up on his offer to 'try it for yourself.'

here's the thing about reviews: everyone has an opinion. one place claimed their empanadas are 'the soul of uruguay' on yelp. another said the same place 'smells like old secrets.' i ate there anyway. the empanadas were okay. the secret? it was definitely in the onions.

i took three photos today. not because i'm a professional photographer (i'm not) but because my phone's camera is trying to be something it's not. first image: a white car on white sand. second: a guy with a skateboard doing tricks next to a building that looks like it belongs in a sci-fi movie. third: a tattoo on a wall that reads 'i miss netflix.' idk what any of this means.

check out the tripadvisor page for that skateboard spot: link. also, the local board game café is a hidden gem. ask ryan. he'll tell you it's a conspiracy.

tips? wear layers. the weather here is a conspiracy. also, if you see a man in a chicken suit, follow him. he might lead you to the best coffee. not that i tried it. i'm still bitter about the lemon incident.

links: yelp review for that empanada place
https://www.yelp.com/biz/empanadas-de-montevideo
unrelated but fun: see what other travelers said about the chicken guy on tripadvisor
https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g608643-d11561442-Reviews-Chicken_Paradise_Montevideo_Uruguay.html

tags: travel montevideo digitalnomad messy vibe

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