montevideo whispers and steamy sidewalks

i just landed here and the first thing i noticed was the smell of mate and oldRain on concrete. it’s 21.65°C but it feels like 22.04 because the humidity’s clinging to you like a bad ex. i checked my phone and the weather app said ‘feels like a sauna but with more existential dread’ which is honestly accurate.

i’m a digital nomad so i packed light but forgot my reusable coffee cup. now i’m sprinting through the mercado central trying to find one before it’s gone. the locals here don’t care-everyone just robs your soul and charges you for water. i overheard a guy at a bar saying that the best place for a real espresso is that tiny café on calle flor tangent. someone else told me not to trust it because ‘last time i went, they put a sock in the espresso and called it a specialty.’ i’m not sure if that’s true or if he was just drunk. maybe both.

the neighbors? well, there’s this old man on a scooter who plays accordion at 3am. i heard someone whisper through a bathroom door earlier that he’s been doing it since the 90s. maybe it’s just me, but i feel like he’s judging me for not knowing the local dialect. i tried to ask him directions and he just started singing a folk song about stolen shoes. it was beautiful and terrifying.

someone told me that the street art here is so good you’ll see it everywhere. i saw a mural of a dancing dog on a wall that’s probably been there since the 80s. another person claimed the best tacos are at a spot called la canton if you ask for the ‘old man’s recipe’ but i don’t trust anything that sounds too specific. maybe i’ll just ask the street artist who’s currently painting a giant eye on the side of a building. he seems chill but also like he’s hiding something.

i tried to find a place to relax but the city’s like a caffeine addict-always moving. i ended up at a yoga studio that’s also a bookstore. the instructor said something about ‘grounding your energy’ but then started playing lo-fi hip-hop and told us to write our regrets on a post-it. i wrote ‘why did i trust that guy with the sock espresso’ and now i can’t unsee it.

if you get bored, cities are just a short drive away. but don’t. just stay here and deal with the 83% humidity. it’s like being hugged by a wet towel. i saw a couple arguing in a café and they both seemed to enjoy it. maybe that’s the local vibe.

i heard that the municipal board has some hidden gems but i can’t find it. maybe it’s because everyone here knows the secret. i asked a barista and she just gave me a map and said ‘follow the smell of grilled cheese.’ i did and ended up at a place called el secreto which is probably not the actual name. the food was okay but the owner kept whispering to himself like he knew something. maybe he does.

i uploaded some photos to unsplash. one of a street full of people with backpacks, another of a cat stealing food from a vendor, and one of me crying into a coffee. all someway authentic. i also linked to a tripadvisor review that said ‘the best martini is at a place called la nube but only if you ask for the ‘disaster’ version.’ i don’t know what that means but i’m gonna try it.

the map here shows me where i am. i guess. it’s not very accurate. the coordinates are -34.6653,-58.7275 but i can’t tell if that’s a real place or if i just typed it wrong. probably the latter.

i’m leaving tomorrow but i don’t know if i’ll miss this place. it’s messy. it’s loud. it’s whatever. i just hope the next city doesn’t have a dog wearing a top hat. that would be too much.