Natal, Brazil: Where Heat Waves and Wi-Fi Fights Collide

okay, so here i am in natal, brazil, and let me tell you - this city doesn't do subtle. it's like someone cranked the 'vibrant' dial to eleven then smashed it with a hammer. humidity's clinging to you like a needy ex, and the *beach here? postcard-perfect but feels like a sauna with sand. just landed yesterday after 14 hours of airport purgatory, and my brain's still running on fumes and cheap coffee. anyone who says 'travel is the best teacher' clearly never missed a deadline because their co-working space's internet decided to take a spiritual retreat. speaking of which -

i just checked the weather and it's currently a sweaty 31.19°C that feels like your face is in a microwave. hope you like that kind of thing. locals swear by dawn sessions at Ponta Negra, but my nomad schedule rebels before 10am. speaking of rebellion: someone told me that Praia de Meio has this secret cove where the waves are actually chill, but i heard it's guarded by territorial hermit crabs who judge your sunscreen choices. probably an exaggeration, but now i'm paranoid about my SPF rating.

if you get sick of staring at the Atlantic, Fortaleza's just a bus ride away for that industrial-grit fix, and João Pessoa's got historical churches that won't judge your flip-flops. also got some hot gossip from a bartender at Casa de Cajú - apparently the seafood market by the docks has this lady who sells piranha teeth as good luck charms. 'try not to get bitten' he slurred, which is solid advice anywhere really. my lonely planet mentions Praia do Futuro but locals whisper it's gotten overrun with resort chains. maybe skip that unless you enjoy paying $20 for a coconut that probably came from a supermarket.

'the best coffee here's from this guy with a cart near Bosque - he burns his own beans. tastes like regret and passion fruit.'

'avoid Morro do Careca at noon unless you enjoy heatstroke with a side of regret.'

'that co-working space downtown? owner's a digital nomad who thinks 'asynchronous communication' is a dance move.'

speaking of nomad life: found this spot called Nomad House that promised 'fast internet' and 'community vibes'. the internet's slower than dial-up in a hurricane, but the community's real - we bonded over shared misery and shared empanadas. they've got this cafe downstairs that makes caipirinhas strong enough to negotiate with Brazilian bureaucracy. speaking of bureaucracy: tried getting a sim card and the guy at the counter asked for my soul, a utility bill from 2012, and three types of identification. still haven't got it. might become a pigeon instead.

'heard Pirangi has that cashew tree that's bigger than a small country. bring snacks, it's a pilgrimage.'

anyway, back to sweating and trying to work. the sunsets here are unreal though - like someone spilled orange paint across the ocean. worth the heatstroke risk. also found this street vendor selling tapioca with coconut and condensed milk which is basically dessert masquerading as food. dangerous. my productivity's at zero but my Instagram's thriving so that's something. if you're reading this from a cubicle - envy me. if you're reading this while also sweating in natal - high five. let's be miserable together. maybe tomorrow i'll find that co-working space with the rumored ac. probably not.

p.s. if you need me, i'll be at Cafe da Manha* arguing with a parrot over the last pastel. check out their TripAdvisor ratings if you're into that sort of thing. or see what yelpers are saying - they've got strong opinions about the sugar levels. and for the digital nomad lowdown, good luck with that 'work-life balance' myth.