Oslo, You Weird Little Fishbowl
okay, so. oslo. i’m still processing. i just got back and my brain feels like a tangled ball of yarn someone’s cat got into. the numbers? 2692965 and 1752705818. don’t ask. they’re…memories. specific, blurry memories of trying to decipher Norwegian bus schedules.
i’m a touring session drummer, so i’m used to weird cities and even weirder people. but oslo…it’s got this…quiet intensity. like everyone’s holding a secret, and they’re all really good at keeping it. i spent most of my time wandering around, trying to find decent coffee (more on that later). the weather? i just checked and it’s drizzling sideways, a proper Scandinavian weep. hope you like that kind of thing. it’s not exactly sunshine and palm trees, you know?
and the neighbors! if you’re feeling adventurous, Bergen is a train ride away - apparently, the fjords are something else. I saw a poster for a hiking tour; maybe next time.
let’s talk about the food. okay, so, i’m a professional chef, and i’m telling you, the traditional Norwegian food…it’s an experience. I tried some lutefisk. once. that’s all i’m saying. someone told me that if you don’t like lutefisk, you’re not really Norwegian. i’m not sure i want to be really Norwegian.
but the coffee. oh, the coffee. i’m a coffee snob, obviously. i spent a ridiculous amount of time hunting down a decent cup. I ended up at Java Coffee. seriously, go there. it’s worth it. I overheard a couple arguing about the roast level - it was glorious.
*Aker Brygge was pretty, all shiny and modern, but felt a bit…sterile. I preferred the Grunerløkka neighborhood. More grit, more character. Found a vintage shop there - Fretex - scored a killer 70s jacket for like, 20 bucks. seriously, go thrifting. you won’t regret it.
Here’s a quick rundown of things i learned (mostly the hard way):
*Public transport: Get the Ruter app. seriously. it’s a lifesaver. or a sanity-saver. depending on how good you are at deciphering Norwegian timetables.
*Tipping: Not expected. which is nice. but don’t go stiffing your barista.
*Alcohol: Expensive. like, really expensive. buy it at the Vinmonopolet. and don’t ask questions.
*The Oslo Pass: Might be worth it if you’re planning on hitting a lot of museums. check it out on TripAdvisor.
I also stumbled upon this amazing street art in Ekebergparken*. It’s a sculpture park, but there’s also some seriously cool graffiti. I spent a good hour just wandering around, taking photos. I’m a freelance photographer, so that’s kind of my thing.
“Don’t trust the pigeons,” a very drunk man told me outside a bar. “They’re watching you.” I’m not sure what that means, but I’m definitely keeping an eye on the pigeons now.
“The best way to experience Oslo is to get lost,” a local warned me. “Seriously. Just wander. You’ll find something interesting.” She was right.
I checked out some reviews on Yelp - mostly positive, but a few people complained about the cost of everything. fair enough. it’s not a cheap city.
overall? oslo is…different. it’s not flashy or over-the-top. it’s quiet, understated, and a little bit weird. and i kind of loved it. i’d go back. maybe when it’s not raining sideways.
check out Visit Oslo for more info.
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- https://topiclo.com/post/monterreys-secret-history-a-digital-nomads-dirty-laundry-list
- https://topiclo.com/post/kowloons-secret-spots-where-to-busk-feast-and-dodge-tourist-traps
- https://topiclo.com/post/top-industries-driving-the-economy-of-almaty-and-why-im-still-broke-2
- https://topiclo.com/post/gangwondo-where-concrete-meets-the-chill
- https://topiclo.com/post/the-future-of-rasht-upcoming-infrastructure-and-projects