porto’s quirky corners: a photographer’s chaotic weekend

i woke up to the sound of rain hitting my window like it was personally mad at me. it’s one of those days where the air feels like it’s holding its breath, and i’m convinced the humidity is judging me. if you get bored, portos are just a short drive away, which is ironic because i’m in portos right now. i just checked and it’s…there right now, hope you like that kind of thing.

i’ve been snapping photos of everything that doesn’t look like it belongs in a science textbook. this morning, i found a graffiti-clad wall that looked like it was painted by a toddler with a can of spray paint. the local said it’s from a street artist who disappeared last year. i told them, ‘you think they’re still around? maybe in a submarine?’ they just laughed and said, ‘nah, but the paint’s still fresh.’

last night, i overheard two people arguing about the best empanada in town. one was yelling, ‘it’s the one near the market, stop being cheap!’ the other said, ‘no, the one on the hill has better cheese.’ i didn’t believe either, but i took a photo of the conversation. it’s now in my gallery as ‘porto’s most dangerous debate.’

someone told me that the old bridge is haunted. not the scary kind, but the kind where you swear you see a guy in a hat walking across it at 3am. i went there at 2am, and nothing happened. except a seagull stole my sandwich. i think that’s proof enough.

i wanted to find a place to save money, so i checked a yelp link at one point. the reviews said, ‘don’t trust the fish here, it’s probably last year’s catch.’ i still ate it. it tasted like…regret. here’s a tripadvisor link for a café that claims to serve ‘authentic port wine cake.’ don’t let the name fool you. it’s more like a brownie with a side of existential dread.

the neighbors? they’re either drunk or trying to build a sculpture out of discarded bikes. i asked one, ‘do you live here all the time?’ they said, ‘only when the weather’s good.’ which is never.

i took a photo of a sunset over the river. it looked like a bad painting someone made to prove they could. the colors were all wrong, but i posted it anyway. here’s an unsplash link to a sunset that doesn’t look like a failed art project.

i heard that the local market is a maze. one person said, ‘if you follow the smell of burnt spices, you’ll find the best spices.’ i did that. it led me to a stall selling what looked like dried tears. i bought some. they tasted like…sadness.

here’s another unsplash link for a photo of a street musician playing a guitar that’s clearly held together with duct tape. it’s beautiful in its chaos.

i’m not sure if i’ll post this. the rain is still falling, and my camera’s acting up. maybe i’ll just nap instead. if you’re reading this, thanks for sticking with me. i’m a mess. but here’s a final unsplash link for a photo of a cat that looks like it’s judging me.

ps: if you come to portos, check out the link to the local board. it has a photo of a mural that doesn’t make sense. it’s called ‘the dancing cheese’ and i can’t explain it.