spinning through hat yai's slick humid ballet

you know that feeling when your tank top becomes a second skin by 10am? i just hacked my way through thailand’s humidity stats and bam-78% moisture circus with a *26°C baseline that doesn’t budge. like dancing in lukewarm pho broth. hope you packed the talcum powder, sweetheart.

stumbled into this city chasing rumors of gum zap street dancers-some toothless grandma at a bus stop swore they practice near kim yong market after midnight. "bring whiskey for the ankle ghosts," she cackled. me? i brought Tiger Balm and regret. found a crew near the fishball carts doing something between krump and exorcism. bought them khanom chin at 3am because adrenaline makes you generous.

the padang besar train station’s got a canteen that serves khao yam so neon-green it glows in the dark. took one bite and hallucinated a malaysian border guard lecturing me about chili tolerance. yeah, complaint department’s that way pal-just gimme another ikan bakar.

someone leaked that thumrin hotel’s rooftop pool has underwater speakers blasting luk thung remixes. did i verify? [coughs in chlorine]. duan sari night market though? chaos. elbows thrown over kuay teow reua like it’s black friday for boat noodles.

if monotony hits, songkhla’s beach shack scene is two hours west-heard they’ve got mun kaeng desserts that’ll make you slap your own face. or drive northeast to betong’s giant mailbox because why not? tourist trap? maybe. photo op with a 20m tall postal shrine? absolutely.

overheard some aussie backpackers arguing whether hat yai municipal park’s cable car is "flimsy as a mylar balloon" or "thrilling as a back-alley footrace." proceed with caution and prayer beads, i guess. locals whispered wat hat yai nai’s golden buddha cures hangovers if you lick its toe. didn’t test it-ethical concerns.

resources for the rhythmically desperate: peep this fried banana vendor list, this hidden reggae bar’s IG, or this terrifyingly accurate mosquito forecast map.

currently air-drying my socks on a 7-eleven* sidewalk. later, hat yai.

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