Studying in Campos: Why Your Bank Account Will Cry but Your Soul Will Sing (Probably)

so i decided to write this blog post because my laptop charger died during a thunderstorm and i couldn’t charge it without risking electrocution (or is that just myجامعة’s electrical system? sometimes im not sure). anyway, let me tell you about studying in campos. it’s not like seattle or london where everyone’s ‘vibrant’ and ‘nestled’ in some fancy campus. no, campos is everything you’d imagine it to be-messy, weird, and somehow magical if you look past the fact that the campus wifi name is ‘UFC-2017-LosersUnite’.

let’s start with the data because i hate making stuff up. according to the last time i checked (which was like, last week when i was too broke to care), rent in campos averages around $400/month for a one-bedroom. that’s not pennies, that’s like… rent for a statement you’d never make. safety? it’s low crime but watch out for the 3am street vendors selling ‘authentic’ cachaça. i once got sold a bottle that tasted like regret and cheap adrenaline. but hey, locals say it’s safe enough if you don’t stare at them too long and don’t trust anyone offering you ketchup at 2am. speeding tickets? i’ve seen three in a year. the police here drive like they’re in aflix road trip. jobs? part-time gigs in tech startups or tourism. i worked at a hostel doing ‘guest relations,’ which basically meant grabbing snacks from a vending machine when nobody came to my desk. the job market’s chill but not exactly a golden ticket-unless you’re into concierge work for rich grads.

i overheard a girl in a hostel last week saying, ‘camps is where you learn to hate your coffee so hard you become a coffee snob by accident.’ she was right. i paid $5 for a tiny cup of iberica that tasted like regret but also like advertised. free espresso? nah. you’re paying for the ‘experience.’ which, honestly, is the worst way to sell coffee.

the weather here is like a mood ring that’s stuck on ‘angry.’ right now it’s raining, but yesterday it was 95°f and then you’d get a sudden downpour from god himself. i once got caught in a storm so hard i used a ramen cup as an umbrella. the sky here is either dark and brooding or this absurd green hue during sunset, which is just the city’s way of saying ‘thanks for staring at my cracks.’ and the neighbors? they’re either other grad students blasting lo-fi music or random people jogging through the campus at 6am, somehow sprinting away from theTyphoon Instagram filters.

here’s the thing about studying in campos: it’s not glam. there’s no killer view from your dorm room to a beach or a mountain. just trees, power lines, and a lake that smells like someone forgot to clean it since the 90s. but sometimes, you find weird treasures. like a tiny bookstore on a side street selling used textbooks for $2. or a stray cat named fluff who guards the campus gates every morning. someone brought him on a backpack and now he’s the mascot of ‘cheap eats.’

i asked a local why they like living here. they rolled their eyes and said, ‘you pay less than a hotel for a month here. and if you get bored, you can just drive 45 minutes to another city with a better vibe. but don’t tell anyone i said that.’ drunk advice, right? i also overheard someone whispering about the ‘ghost in the engineering building.’ turns out it’s just the air conditioner humming at 3am. or maybe it’s me hallucinating. who knows?

if you’re thinking about studying in campos, here’s what they didn’t tell you in the brochures: the local library has a ‘no whispering’ rule but doesn’t enforce it. the campus gym is a place where people do yoga, lift weights, or just people-watch while drinking cheap craft beer. and the public buses? they stop randomly if you look up too long. i once waited 20 minutes because the driver took a detour to buy lotto tickets. again.

now, let me tell you about the expat life here. there’s a facebook group called ‘camps exiles’ where people post job tips like, ‘i found a place to rent by responding to a kid’s instagram ad about selling pineapples.’ and the yelp reviews? mixed. one said, ‘amazing city, terrible wifi.’ another: ‘i lost my passport here. probably the city’s fault.’ tripadvisor says campagnes is ‘under the radar,’ which is probably why you should check the local subreddit. redditcampos is a goldmine for free ramen recipes and warnings about the ‘mysterious meat food truck that appears only on tuesdays.’

i made this post at 2am because i couldn’t sleep. the caffeine half-life in my body is shorter than my motivation to write coherent sentences. but here we are. maybe STUDYING IN CAMPOS isn’t for everyone. but if you’re the type who thrives in chaos, who finds joy in solving the mystery of the missing campus shuttle, then this is your spot. just bring a raincoat, a sense of humor, and don’t trust the internet cafe. they’ll charge you $10 to print a pdf and leave you with a virus.

how do you get around here? just ask. literally. everyone will smile and point you somewhere. or you can take the bus. or walk. or ask fluff the cat for directions. he’s better than google sometimes.

want to see what Campos looks like? here’s a bird’s eye view of the campus:

and here are some photos of the grass field near the lake-because yes, there’s a lake. you didn’t know that until now.

links to trust (or not):
- yelp.com/city/campos-read the reviews, especially the ones about ‘mysterious meat trucks’
- tripadvisor.com/campus-most of them are from people who got lost
- reddit.com/r/camps-that’s where you find the free ramen recipes
- localuniversity.com/why-study-here-skip the first three paragraphs. they sound like they’re written by a robot.

p.s. if you’re a budget student, bring friends. shared dorms are cheaper, but also more chaotic. i shared a room with someone who thought ‘google maps’ was a new dance trend. we survived. now we share netflix and a single pillow.

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