Surabaya: Where the Tropics Swat at Your Nose and History Stares Back
just landed here after a 12-hour flight and honestly, the humidity can suck it. i just checked and it's 24.9°C here, feels like 24.9 but with 98% humidity-sweaty business, really hope you like that kind of thing. somehow survived the Heatwave of Microbes and now I'm staring at the Surabaya skyline from my hotel balcony, which looks like it was built by a sleep-deprived giant. click here if you want to lose a few brain cells:
historic vibes are everywhere here, if you can ignore the motorbikes. the House of Sampoerna is a must-see-filthy rich Dutch colonial-era factory turned museum that smells like old wood and ambition. someone told me the ghosts here still negotiate clove prices, but I didn't pack my seance kit. nearby, Dutch buildings look like taxidermied ostriches trying to out-stare the tropics. don't judge the architecture, it's seen shit.
looking for chaos? take a stroll through Pasar Ngudiwarno market. someone told me that the stank here is legendary, but the grilled skewers? worth it. ask for 'toge goreng' if you're feeling adventurous-raw peanuts marinated in what might be motor oil. also, if you get bored, Lamongan or Gresik are just a short drive away. spoiler: they're full of ghosts too.
Mount Bromo's 80km away, which means I have time to regret this decision. the drive is a dumpster fire of traffic jams and false starts, but the view of the Tengger Caldera is like a frying pan full of crushedfutura aliens. if you're into that sweet, sweet subliminal combustion, you'll love it. if not, just bring antacids.
food notes: Surabaya's famous dishes are basically whatever your grandma cooked while drunk on Bintang beer. ask anyone for 'kerak telor' (scrambled eggs fried with shattered eggshells) or 'rawon' (Javanese beef soup with a side of regret). honestly, try both. late-night street vendors here make everything on a stick. seriously, even your mom’s black shoes wouldn't survive the kebabs at 3am.
can't forget the culture bombs. ludruk drama here is less Shakespeare and more smack in the face. Remo dance? think synchronized pissing contests with gamelan drums. Kidungan? it's like if Bob Dylan and a Javanese street preacher fucked in a speaker. lively, to say the least. the colonial-era newspaper buildings downtown still print stuff on the same machines from 1910, which is cool I guess.
the port here is legit-Tanjung Perak's big enough to swallow your morale. watch ships unload containers in the sunset, it's like watching a mechanical orchestra play salsa. also a naval powerhouse-Submarine Museum? Sure, why not. pricey. maritime bro mojo.
clean and green? yeah, right. Surabaya's got urban forests and junk, but 3.09 million people don't compensate for trees. parks here are crammed into alleys and corners like anxious plot points. still, some places are trying. avoid the slums, which are basically unplanned cities inside the official city. not judging, just saying-
Bom, go-n! Surabaya’s a dumpster fire in the best way. History whispers from every cracked Dutch brick, the port’s gotta hustle, and the food’s chaotic enough to make you forget the humidity. ride a bemo, eat questionable snacks, and pray the next hurricane doesn’t decide to redecorate. I'll be here, sweating bullets and waiting for Andrea Gibson to drop off a mixtape.
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