tampa after midnight with a cold heart and a broken chord
i wasn’t supposed to write this. i was just trying to find a spot to sleep and forgot to pack my journal. now i’m sitting outside this place that smells like old coffee and regret. the temperature is 17 degrees. i just checked and it’s that 17-degree thing again. yawning. it’s not even winter yet. maybe the universe is trying to tell me something. or maybe i’m just being dramatic. either way, this cold is making my soul feel like it’s stuck in a basement.
i didn’t bring a coat. i didn’t think it would be this cold. but here we are. 17 degrees. i just checked and it’s that 17-degree thing again. yawning. my guitar case is heavy. i’m not a touring musician. but tonight, i had a moment. a song. something that didn’t make sense. the lyrics were all half-remembered. i played it anyway. the crowd was just a few people in the alley. they didn’t react. maybe they didn’t want to. or maybe they were too busy pretending they heard something. i don’t know.
someone told me that the coffee shop around the corner has the best pastries. but i heard it closed last week. maybe it’s a trap. or maybe it’s a lie. who knows? i went anyway. the sign was still up. the door was locked. i left a note. maybe they’ll read it. maybe not.
if you get bored, st. augustine is just a short drive away. or maybe just go back to your room. either way, this place is not the best for soul-searching. the walls are concrete. the air is stale. and the music? well, it’s not the kind of music that fixes things. it’s the kind that makes you question why you’re still here.
i found a map online. it tells me where i am. not that it matters. i’ve been here long enough to know the streets. or at least pretend to. the GPS is useless. it keeps redirecting me to places that don’t exist. i gave up. now i’m just walking. the map was a waste of time. but hey, at least i have this.
i took some pictures. not great. the light is bad. the angles are wrong. but they’re here.
i heard that the local diner has the best sandwiches. but i didn’t bother. i’m not hungry. or maybe i am. it’s hard to tell. the cold is making me weird. maybe i should go. maybe not. i don’t know.
someone said the weather would change. but it didn’t. it’s still 17 degrees. i just checked and it’s that 17-degree thing again. yawning. maybe it’s a metaphor. maybe the universe is saying, 'you’re stuck in a loop.' or maybe i’m just tired.
i should probably go. but i can’t. not yet. not with this heart. it’s not broken. it’s just… cold. like the weather. like everything.
check out the reviews on TripAdvisor for the best places to get a hot drink. or maybe just skip the coffee and find a place that doesn’t smell like regret.
i’m not sure if this makes sense. maybe it doesn’t. but it’s true. or maybe it’s not. either way, here it is. messy. human. and exactly as it should be.
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