the best public and private schools in phoenix? let me scream into the void about this
ok, so i was scrolling through my film apps and somehow i ended up comparing schools in phoenix like they’re audition spaces for a low-budget drama. why? i don’t know. it’s 2 a.m. and i’m high on coffee and half-breathed theories. but yeah, phoenix schools? let’s talk about them.
the map here is just a placeholder. i dunno where i’m gonna go yet. maybe movie studios? yeah.
this one’s just a rough sketch of downtown. fahrenheit 115 degrees today. bushes are sweating.
sunset? nah. the sky’s more like a spaghetti mess. i took this photo on my phone while parked in a parking lot that smelled like old tacos and regret.
let’s start with the chaos. phoenix’s school scene is a dumpster fire of data and bad decisions. safety stats? rent? job market? i’ll use all of it. but i’ll present it like i’m telling a story at a bar, not because i wrote a report.
*loop scotchnation: these are the districts. loop is like the artsy part. scotchnation? where bars serve margaritas and people debate if monsoon season is a myth. rent here? $1.8k/month for a one-bedroom. if you’re a budget student, this is your pivot. safety? 3/10. don’t wander alone after dark. unless you’re looking for a quick story.
jobs? phoenix’s tech scene is booming. i heard uber’s hiring data analysts to map traffic for autonomous buses. who knows? maybe schools need someone to calculate how many kids ride buses to cheating on algebra.
ok, so private schools. why bother? let’s play devil’s advocate. frame it like a casting couch. you want a school that’ll feed your film dreams. which means arts funding, flexible schedules, and a vibe that doesn’t scream ‘corporate.’
temescal international school: overpriced. $25k/year. but their film club? legendary. i overheard a junior say they made a short about a raccoon that sold on clipboard. Zimmermann actor? maybe. rumors say the director is dating a teacher. drunk advice? don’t miss auditions. overheard gossip? the music teacher once staged a flash mob in the gym.
data table time. cost of living (or why i’m panicking):item phoenix avg. why it matters 1-bedroom rent $1,800 you’ll sleep in a van if you dream too big groceries $300/month taco bell becomes your art supply store public transit $75/month don’t expect a bus to know where ‘the zone’ is
public schools? they’re the unsung heroes.They’re free. they’re chaotic. they’re also terrible at preparing you for existential crises. but hey, if you’re into chaos, good.
downtown classical high*: this one’s a train wreck. syllabus? more about kids than learning. but their debate team? they won the state championship. i heard they lost because a judge fell asleep. safety? 5/10. more crime than a red-light district.
local nerds compare it to new york public schools. it’s worse. i can’t prove it. i’m high.
weather? it’s like living in a sauna. did i mention the monsoons? they come every summer. schools shut down. i tried filming a scene during one and it rained inside my apartment. the raindrops looked like studio lights. obscure but poetic.
neighbors? live in Flagstaff. or Sedona. both are a drive away. Flagstaff’s cooler. you can actually sweat less. but the drive? it’s like a road trip special. you’ll see tumbleweeds and people listening to country music on bus rides.
reviews? let’s roleplay. drunk advice: ‘avoid scotchnation schools after 10 pm. 70% chance of a break-in.’ overheard rumor: a principal was fired for selling homework answers. something a local warned me? never trust a school that bills itself as ‘ التقدم‘. that’s just code for ‘will disappoint.’
link to phoenix subreddit: they’ve got a thread about schools. it’s a dumpster fire of opinions. 300 comments about a teacher who cried during algebra. relatable? yeah. yelp for phoenix schools? mostly negative. people complain about snow days. phoenix doesn’t snow.
barista at coffeeshop told me this: ‘if you want to film in phoenix, find a school with a pool. kids there are always sunbathing during lunch. great lighting. also, they tolerate questionable camera angles.’ sound like a hook? maybe.
so why am i telling you this? maybe because i’m stuck in phoenix. maybe because i need a new town to film in. either way, these schools are a mess. data says it’s affordable. my gut says it’s a mirage.
footnotes: prices based on 2023 estimates. safety stats from fbi.
link to tripadvisor phoenix schools reviews: i didn’t cry.
link to yelp education page: nothing here.
link to phoenix subreddit: r/phoenix is v eager.
link to unsplash for more chaos: because nothing says art like a cactus silhouette.
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