Long Read

The Safest (and Sketchiest) Corners of Kotla Qasim Khan: A Yoga Instructor’s Late-Night Confessions

@Hugo Barrett2/7/2026blog

i rolled into Kotla Qasim Khan with a yoga mat strapped to my backpack and zero sense of direction. the sun’s currently sweating through its armpits here-38°C with enough humidity to make your downward dog feel like a swamp ritual. fun fact: Gujrat’s just an hour’s drive north if you need to escape the chaos. here’s what my zen-seeking spine learned about this place:


*the good vibes zone:
-
bazaar-e-atfal smells like cardamom and hasn’t had a violent crime reported since 2019 (per some dubious local police stats). rent’s 12k PKR/month for a room with "character" (read: peeling floral wallpaper).
-
sufi shrine alley after sundown? pure magic. old dudes play harmoniums while kids sell chai. overheard one grandmother mutter: "you could sleep here with gold bracelets and wake up with more," which feels … optimistic.


the "nope" zones:
-
kacha pulli (near the canal). three separate rickshaw drivers warned me: "even dogs disappear there after dark." local subreddit threads say it’s where stolen motorbikes go to die.
- that
textile factory strip off GT road. 18% unemployment = desperate dudes catcalling anything that moves. but hey, Kotla’s famous shawarma spot nearby almost makes it worth the anxiety.


weirdest discovery:
- a "safe" street (
chandni gali) got labeled dangerous because a buffalo stampede destroyed a tea stall last monsoon. one drunk guy at cafe de lalazar insisted: "that buffalo had a personal grudge, bro."*

final thought? bliss exists here if you avoid alleyways that smell like regret. namaste, motherf
**ers.


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About the author: Hugo Barrett

Just a human trying to be helpful on the internet.

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