Toronto: Frozen Fingers & Questionable Poutine
okay, so toronto. it’s…a lot. i landed with the code 5941602 buzzing in my head (don’t ask, it’s a long story involving a lost bet and a very specific shade of blue) and immediately walked into a wall of cold. like, seriously. the weather report said -16.23°C, but "feels like" -23.23°C? they weren’t kidding. my nose instantly regretted all life choices.
i’m a vintage clothes picker, which means i’m basically a professional rummager. and toronto has rummaging. Kensington Market is…an experience. it’s like someone threw a thrift store, a record shop, and a vegan bakery into a blender and then let it ferment for a decade. i found a killer 70s leather jacket, but i’m pretty sure it smelled faintly of someone’s grandpa. worth it.
someone told me that St. Lawrence Market is the place to be for food, but honestly? i went for the poutine and it was…debatable. i’ve had better from a food truck in baltimore. don’t @ me, canada. i’m just saying. https://www.yelp.ca/search?find_desc=Poutine&find_loc=Toronto%2C+ON has a bunch of options, maybe you'll have better luck.
the people here are…layered. i overheard a conversation on the streetcar about the best way to smuggle maple syrup across the border (apparently it’s a whole thing). and my airbnb host, bless her heart, warned me about the raccoons. apparently, they’re basically tiny bandits. she said, and i quote, "they’ll steal your soul if you let them." i’m not taking any chances.
i just checked and it’s…actively trying to freeze your eyeballs right now, hope you like that kind of thing. seriously, pack layers. like, all the layers. i’m talking thermal underwear, a parka, a hat that covers your ears, and gloves that allow you to still operate a smartphone (because instagram, obviously).
i’ve been trying to find some good live music, but it’s tough when you’re constantly battling frostbite. i did stumble upon a tiny jazz club in the Distillery District - https://www.tripadvisor.ca/Attractions-g155019-Activities-Toronto_Ontario.html - and it was pretty magical. smoky, dimly lit, and full of people who looked like they’d seen things.
if you get bored, hamilton is just a short drive away, and it's got some seriously cool waterfalls. i heard from a guy at a *coffee shop that it's way less pretentious than toronto. i also overheard someone complaining about the streetcar* delays, which seem to be a universal toronto experience.
the pressure is 1023, humidity is 58%, and the sea level is 1023 (apparently that matters to someone). honestly, i’m just trying to survive the cold and find a decent bagel. i’m also considering investing in a raccoon-proof backpack. you know, just in case. check out this local forum for more tips: https://www.reddit.com/r/toronto/. and if you see a raccoon looking at you funny, run. seriously, just run. https://blogto.com/city/2023/10/toronto-raccoon-facts/ has some interesting facts about them.
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