Back to Feed
Long Read

tromsø through broke eyes: overdrafts & northern lights

@Owen Steele2/13/2026blog
tromsø through broke eyes: overdrafts & northern lights

the wind hit me like a drunk raccoon stealing my fry bread and i thought, 'this ain't no vacation plan. this is a cry for help from my bank statement.' outside, the arctic air was crunching on everything like loose change in a snowbank. checked the weather app--10 with -17 feels? nah, that's not cold. that's the universe making eye contact with my soul.


so i did what any sane student would: huddled in a library reading room with a $3 latte (ok, a suspiciously warm army surplus thermal coffee) and googled 'free things to do in Tromsø.' first result: a park bench allegedly haunted by a Viking who complained about their Spotify Wrapped. second result: a cracked photo booth outside a gas station that charges 100 kroner for blurry portraits. third result: 'if you're bored, Oslo's 3 hours by train. i wouldn't recommend it unless you’re into crying in a sauna with strangers.'


*Bolded that Oslo part because’ duh. But seriously--10 isn’t a temperature, it’s a dare. Me, wearing a sweater made of regret and a toque with a ski pole stuck in it like a caveman prophet, wandered past the Arctic Cathedral. Turns out the stained glass looks like a kaleidoscope designed by a narcoleptic. ‘See that star? That’s the Sun fleeing the catacombs,’ said the librarian, who looked like she’d never met a stranger. (She was lying. Later, I’d learn the Sun just takes fake vacations.)


Overheard Gossip (via a suspiciously loud argument in Norwegian):
> "They revised the Northern Lights forecast again. Now it’s ‘maybe’ on Thursday. Sounds like the weather update for Ye Olde Apocalypse."


so i did the thing. hitch. I’m talking ‘thumbs-up-a-trailer-back-after-a-ski-jump’ renewable. the hostel keeper, a guy named Lars who smelled like fermented herring and hope, gave me directions to a ‘free’ Reykjavik bus (read: ‘ill-advised’ bus) to the outskirts. Spoiler: it cost €47 round trip and left me stranded outside a kebab truck. But hey, the kebab was king. gyro-style scattering of birch and arsenic-unlikely combo, wildly effective.


Pro-Tip: If you’re here? Skip the Husky tours that cost 1000 Kroner. Bribe a local with vodka instead. We’re talking ‘I’ll trade you a bag of spam for a dogsled ride’ levels of generosity. True story. Also: the local market? Overpriced. But the old guy selling snow globes insists they’re ‘100% hand-poured Icelandic magma.’ Might be a scam, but he looks like he’d die defending that claim.


neighbors? Closest decent city’s 300 km away. If you miss grocery stores, forget it. The vending machine down the hall sells schnapps and regret. And yes, I checked: it’s -10 there right now. hope you like existential frostbite.


Final Word:* Tromsø’s a mood. Like watching a rom-com where everyone’s trapped in a snowdrift and the ending’s inevitably ‘we all died alone but here’s a cat meme.’ Bring layers. Bring humor. Burn the budget spreadsheet. And whatever you do? Never hug a stranger here. They’ll ask for your passport like it’s a job interview.




A view of a small town from a hill
a building with columns and a clock on the front of it
a statue in a park surrounded by trees

You might also be interested in:

About the author: Owen Steele

Believer in lifelong learning (and unlearning).

Loading discussion...